I Hate That I Love You
by Azn-Gurl868
Summary: A game led him to her. Her spilled emotions drew him closer. Killing her past lover was inevitable. Loving her was someting he didn't expect to happen.
1. Risk

**I Hate That I Love You – CH 1: Risk **

Character pairing: Orihime Inoue, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.

Rated T - Coarse language, mature subject and described violence.

Summary - Orihime Inoue has extraodinary powers and is kidnapped and taken to Hueco Mundo. Aizen must use her power to finish his plans. In Los Noches, she encounters Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez—rude, disobidient, stuborn... just plain mean! Through their time spent together, a unlikely turn of events occur with their relationship.

* * *

They call her Orihime Inoue. Well, at least that was her name. Most of us call her repulsive names—bitch, Aizen's marionette, rag doll, cry baby… blah, blah, blah. The list stretched on like the endless dessert of Heuco Mundo. I personally didn't like to talk about her. To be honest, I've never spoken a word about her. But when someone did and I was around, I simply walk away. I didn't get what the big hype was about some human with apparent useful powers coming to our world. The women around here, especially, would gossip. They loathed her. Why they loathed her was a mystery. Maybe it was because she was Aizen's new favourite and that fact was plain to see.

Only Ulquiorra Cifer actually called her "Inoue-chan." The little smart ass is kissing up to Aizen. He's being a good little disciple. Nothing more mattered to that fucking bastard than his precious reputation. Pointless, really. Every one of us was going to be thrown away soon enough.

I've only seen the girl once. As a test for her abilities, Aizen asked her to reform my arm to when it _used_ to be attached to my body. Tōsen sliced it off for some god damned reason. I worked and lived with asses, and I had somehow attained the strength to live through it until now. Can't do a thing about it. Every living day was like a prison without the bars.

I seriously doubted her at first—walkin' in like that; tripping on her own feet. Who wouldn't feel the need to kill her just by setting eyes on her? She looked vulnerable, the easiest target imaginable. She was in a stupid school uniform too. I wanted to break her immediately. Then she used weird little hairpin-power to retrieve my arm. It came back all right. I could use _two_ arms to continue being insouciance. She flinched when I killed that good-for-nothing Luppi. I guess she was weak with the sight of violence too. The girl flinched and gasped, like a little girl seeing her own mommy and daddy die.

She's got the tits. I'll admit that much. Now that I think about it, maybe the women around here hated her for that. The guys laughed at how easy it would be to rape her if they wanted, with that short skirt and everything. They didn't, since Ulquiorra was sent to bodyguard the girl. Though they all were waiting for that one chance to have some fun with her.

Aizen liked her a lot. The guy never stopped bragging or talking about how his plan would be flawless with her on his side. She was the key to his success. What were the other Arrancars to him now? Nothing. Just tools to support him. We were the legs of a table. Honestly, I didn't give a shit about that stuff. I tended to go with the flow of things and avoided those paths that lead to no where in particular. She's got no friends in the end. Not even Ulquiorra.

Her hair was auburn. Radio active too. I wanted to pull it off her scalp and watch her cry. She looked like the type to cry a lot over little things like living with no hair. Some who pass her room at night say they hear her cry herself to sleep. Her eyes were wide and grey—wide with fear maybe. Otherwise, she destroyed the atmosphere here by being cheery-looking with her red cheeks and all that. The girl didn't belong. She stuck out like a sore thumb. Why was she here again?

That one time I saw her was the last time I _ever _wanted to. Unfortunately, I'd risk that every time I walked past her room. The beating of her heart was so fuckin' annoying! You could sense her warmth when you pass by. Not the comfort kind of warmth, the kind that made you sick-to-the-bone because this comfort was being overused or unnecessary.

* * *

I walked with my hands in my pockets, neck craned and eyes closed. The kind of thing that yelled out _"this guy doesn't give a shit about anything."_ It made people think twice about messing with me. Today I was taking that risk. How I hated just being near her room. Then I heard that heart soon enough. Here came the warmth… There was something odd happening though—her heart rate was racing faster and faster by the second. When I was close enough, I could hear the sounds of beating, kicking and screaming—screams coming out of _her _throat.

Ulquiorra wasn't guarding the door. That explained why she was being beaten right now. I didn't blame them…

"P-Please… stop!" Orihime Inoue begged her assaulters some mercy.

The other girls laughed at her. "Poor, Princess Orihime," they mocked.

More yelps followed—yelps akin to choking.

I don't know why I stopped walking when I was right in front of her door. My legs should've kept moving and going away from this hallway. Soon, I made the decision to stop all this screaming and crying. Why? Maybe 'cause it was getting on my nerves.

With a Cero that balanced at my palm, I crashed through the wall. There was dust and shit all over the place that drifted in the air. An entrance though the door didn't go with my style at this certain situation. I liked to go for _exciting_. When the dust cleared, the two assaulters could see me. They weren't even Espadas. Fucking weaklings…

"Grimmjow, what the hell are you doing?" Loly demanded.

I saw her for the second time. She was against the wall, on the floor, and eyes like a deer caught in headlights. Her face, tear-streaked. Orihime stared at me with horror. I knew what was running in her mind: _He's here too hurt me too, isn't he?_

"What's it look like I'm doin'? Crashing your party," I answered, grinning.

I walked toward Loly; the little bitch was my first victim. Melony tried using a tiny, little Cero at me… Caught her hand like a fly in a swatter. Then I threw her against the wall, a warning for Loly. She quivered as I came closer. Couldn't even move or defend herself while I gripped her throat. I rammed her to the wall next to Orihime and squeezed harder, crushing that twiggy neck of hers.

"Aizen-sama is going to _kill_ you for this!" she managed to say.

"For the likes of you?" I snickered. "He has more important things to care for."

When she turned white as snow, that's when I dropped her.

I was amused at Orihime's terrified and confused expression. I loved getting those, especially when I caused it. She even shook her head slowly as she silently wept. S mix of emotions stirred in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing seemed to form for another few seconds.

"Wh-Why…?" she whispered.

I pointed to my left arm. "Returning the favour for my arm," I lied. I _never_ return favours. Never did I thank someone either. I just wanted her god damn screaming to stop.

It took a while for her to answer. "Th-Thank… you."

Immediately, I hauled her off the floor by her fragile throat. She wrapped her little hands around my wrist, and her feet no longer touched the floor.

"Shut the hell up! I don't need a 'thank you' from you, woman. All right?" I said through my teeth.

Her head moved a little. It took me a second to realize it was a nod.

I released her and she fell on her back. Then, I strolled away with my hands buried in my pocket, not looking back. Ulquiorra can clean up the rest. Hopefully, _that_ was the last time I'll ever see her. I'll make to effort to keep that statement true.

* * *

Remember when I said to never see that pesky bitch again? Yeah. It didn't happen… and only a couple days passed. I was disgusted in myself for not killing her when she showed up the third time.

"Grimmjow-san!" she yelled down the hallway from behind.

For one thing, I fucking didn't know how she knew my name. I pretended I didn't hear a thing and kept going. My strolls through the halls were my way of killing time and enjoying a quiet scenery. She wrecked that just my being there.

"Grimmjow-san!" the girl repeated. This time, she ran to me—quick small footsteps tapping on the marble floor.

I wanted her to go away sooner, so I turned around to lock gazes with the idiot. "What do you want?" I asked, my nostrils flaring. I noticed that she was wearing something else this time—an Arrancar uniform instead of her school uniform attire. It was black and white, just like everyone else's. It bothered me that she wore it now. Maybe the thing was just a failed attempt by Aizen so that the others could see her as a comrade.

She gulped, seeming to think twice about calling me ever again. "I… w-wanted to talk to you." She looked fearful for a sec. Although, it vanished soon, like she had the proper precautions against me. My insinuating didn't work?

"Why?"

"Can't I talk to you?"

I gritted my teeth. "Well, what the fuck do you want then?"

She shrugged her little shoulders.

Then I turned around again when she had no answer. I wasted my time often, but I wasn't going to this time for the likes of her. I was uninterested in chit-chatting with her since the beginning. Being as stupid as she is, the girl followed me, walking by my side like a puppy.

"Where are you going?" the pitched of her voice suggested that she was curious.

I sighed and answered anyway. "My room." She was wearing me down by the second.

She walked with confidence, swinging her arms by her body like that. A smile planted on her face, bright and big.

"Did Aizen give you permission to walk around freely now?"

"Mm-hmm."

A reasonable choice. This chick was easy to track down—her heartbeat for one reason. She couldn't get far if she tried to run through the gates. If she was smart, she'd look through a window and see how infested the dessert was and think twice about it.

I went through my doors. She followed me _in_ my room. What the hell? Was she crazier than I thought she was? I remembered one of those things the guys said: an easy rape target. She'll follow you in you room without force as a bonus. I lumbered on the couch—my hands behind my head, eyes closed, one foot on the other knee. Ignoring her will hopefully get her to walk away and find someone else to creep.

She didn't sit next to me, but she continued to talk. "Why did you cover up your window?"

"I don't want the light coming through," I simply expained. I shut my window with a thick sheet of metal a long time ago. No one else did that but me, because some of them actually _liked_ the sunlight. Disgusting.

"Oh, that's interesting," she commented. From her tone, I knew that she didn't find it interesting at all.

Long silence followed.

She didn't move from her place and I didn't either. She must feel awkward now and leave, right? Wrong. I'm sure she was used to it because of the constant attention from Ulquiorra, or because she was always locked in her room getting ignored. Maybe she wouldn't go away unless I threw her out.

I cracked an eye open, looking at her bewildered face. She watched me the whole time. "So why did you decide to follow me, air-head?" I asked.

Orihime shrugged, as if the insult went right through both ears. "There was nothing to do."

"And you _follow_ me? Not a very wise decision. Now, go bug someone else, woman." Maybe I didn't squeeze her neck enough last time, should've left her gasping for air at least.

"But everyone else disrespects me..." she said in her tiny voice.

I frowned, staring at her with burning eyes that dug through hers. "What? You think I'm nice now? That I'm a good boy? I thought I strangled you before."

"You saved me," she said.

The words stung me. Although, I couldn't deny that she spoke the truth. I saved this bitch's ass, and I regretted it now. I snickered and went back to resting, realizing that she was now annoying me further instead of me running her off.

"I feel like you're my first friend here," the girl confirmed. As if _"you saved me"_ wasn't bad enough.

This time, I _really_ got pissed. I got up on my feet to face her. When I was this close to her, I noticed she was several inches shorter than I was. She looked up at my scowling face and quivered. "Friend?" I repeated. "You're fucking nuts, woman! I don't get 'friends' here for a reason. I'm _dangerous, _especially to people like you. I like to maintain that no-friend policy. I'll say this one more time and slowly. Go. Bug. Someone. Else. Got that through your hard head?"

She nodded vigorously.

I wasn't letting her leave without some sort of warning. So I slapped her head down hard enough until she fell to the ground and her knees gave up. She held her head with both hands. Tears spilled over next, and I laughed. She was so thrilling to hurt—not like the other girls who fought back. Those were only fun if I was allowed to kill them.

Then I kicked the bitch on her sides until she rolled over twice. Finally, I grabbed her hair and pulled her behind me toward the door.

"P-Please! Stop!" she whimpered.

When she was out of my territory, I released her hair. Then I slammed the door.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get rid of a pesky fly.

* * *

A/N: Since this is in Grimmjow's perspective, there's quite a lot of swearing. I think this is how his mind works, so hopefully I haven't gotten OOC! Thanks for reading, drop a review. If you're lookng for the romance, read onwards~


	2. The Game

**I Hate That I Love You – CH 2: The Game **

* * *

A regret in life: beating Orihime Inoue. Don't think I've gone soft. That's the wrong idea completely. I should've realized that Aizen or Ulquiorra would find out soon enough. Or maybe I could have done it more quietly or threatened her so she would shut up about the whole thing and say she fell down some stairs to prove the bruises. I regret this only because I was confronted by Ulquiorra that night. He told me to apologize to her. I fucking _hate_ apologizing. She brought it to herself in the first place. It was my only option at the moment. The world was not fair. Life wasn't fair. Beating the chick was fun, but if I had to say sorry afterwards, it wasn't worth it.

"Apologize to her," Ulquiorra repeated.

"No way," I said, smirking and taking the harsh tone in his voice lightly. Did he really think I was going to?

"Or do you want me to involve Aizen-sama in this? If I were you, I'd just do what I'm told."

I gritted my teeth. "Alright, alright! Sheesh." The last thing I wanted was to get Aizen involved in harassing his favourite. The guy had some leg-shaking reiatsu. I mean that literally. I didn't consider myself scared of Aizen; I was simply… forced to receive a cruel punishment, and I want to avoid that. I want to live to see how Aizen would come about in his plan; failure or not.

"Do it now," he commanded.

I raised an eyebrow. "Even if you have a higher ranking than me, doesn't mean you can order me around," I explained to him.

"Do not change the subject, Grimmjow. Do it now. She's in her room. The door is locked from the outside."

I thought she had the freedom to wonder off on her own. I'm guessing he locked her himself. Or did she finally attempt to escape this place?

"I'm going." I did an eye roll in addition. It was so fucking fun to mess with this guy, even though his face was impassive and I missed the real reactions. I passed him on my way to the hallway, even bumped by shoulder against his.

I walked with my usual stance. No rush. I didn't want the others to know what I was about to do. Ulqiorra wasn't following me, so he couldn't hassle me. Number four always had a way of doing that. Still, I felt daggers shooting at my back.

Finally, I reached her room. That beating heart was a give-away. He was right; the door was locked from the outside. I could hear her crying inside like the baby she was. I knew it was because of Ulquiorra this time. I slapped and kicked her hours ago, she can't be crying for this long. I removed the metal bar that went through both handles of the door. It dropped with a _clang!_ If you knew me, you know I won't really apologize. Just comin' for a visit, and somehow make the girl tell her bodyguard I did apologize to her. When I threw the door open, she was on the floor with her face covered by her hands as she cried on it. Orihime's body shook with her sobs. That damn girl was always on the floor during my visits.

"Hey," I said.

Orihime looked up at me in surprise, not noticing my entrance until I said something. Her eyes had terror in them again. Ahh… she finally got the message that I wasn't made to be friends with. "Gri-Grimmjow-san! Please don't…! I'm s-sorry about Ulquiorra knowing!"

I frowned. "What the hell do you mean by that? And stop your crying! It's pissing me off, woman!"

It took a few seconds before she quieted down and spoke again. "He found out that you threw me into the hall. He was watching me the whole time. He said he was going to do something to you and then he left!" she explained.

What did she think Ulquiorra did to me? "Do something? He only told me to apologize." It bothered me, knowing the fact that she was really crying for me.

The grimace in her face lessened. "H-He said that? You don't have to… to apologize. Pl-Please… don't beat me again just because you're forced to say sorry."

Maybe she _was_ crying because of her safety. "Nah, not right now at least. Some other time you piss me off. I promise you that." I bared my teeth in a mischievous smile.

Orihime exhaled the air she was holding in. I wasn't going to bail on my plan. He was probably listening to me right now. I still had to order Orihime to lie in my behalf. I walked over to her and she was terrified again, her big doe eyes staring at me. As if I was a lion and I had cornered her.

"Get up, woman," I said.

She took too long to stand, so I hauled her to her feet. I kept a frown on, deepening her terror. With a quick pull toward me, she slammed into my chest. Her body was like a rag doll, truly physically weak. Her arms felt so thin, that it was like a fragile twig. Just one snap and... I'd keep that in mind for next time. There was tight tension between us as she awkwardly put a hand on my chest and turned her head away. "Tell Ulquiorra that I apologized then," I whispered in her ear.

I felt her nod.

I turned back to the door to stroll away. My work here was done. I'll just head out to find some lunch, because I was starving.

* * *

Got the usual on my tray—stale bread, and salty soup. It was what _everyone_ got actually. Aizen didn't put enough options on our menu. Only the ten Espadas sat on the round table in the lunch room. The others ate somewhere else. They weren't as valuable to Aizen. We sat in order too. To my right was Nnoitra and on my left was Zommari. I noticed Ulquiorra wasn't in his spot. I knew he would stay to listen to me and the girl. The ploy went out perfectly...

Nnoitra just kept laughing when I took the seat next to him—crazy mother fucker. I didn't know why he laughed. I decided to ignore him for a bit until he chuckled right into my friggin' ear.

I turned angrily at my chair to face him. "Dammit, Nnoitra! Shut the fuck up!" I told him.

"There is a reason for my laughing, Jaegerjaquez," he said.

"What might that be?" I asked, turning back to my food.

"I think everyone heard about you and… that girl."

The usual buzz of conversations lessened as some turned to eavesdrop, interested in the gossip. She and I were a topic of conversation?

"What?"

"She followed you in your room and came out crying," he explained.

"Well, that fucking bitch deserved it."

"Deserved you to rape her?"

"Rape her?" I asked, my brows knitting together. "I did no shit."

He chuckled again. "Right, right. What I'm saying is you did the right thing. I think all the guys here would've wanted the same thing."

"Hold on a sec, Nnoitra. I didn't rape the chick, got that? She was brought out crying with her clothes on, right? So then stop makin' conclusions," I explained to him and everyone else who was spying on our conversation.

He shrugged. "I have to admit, everyone who confirmed that you did, haven't actually _seen_ it. But I'm sure as hell that everyone heard her cries." He started to chuckle again.

I bit through the bread and tore it with my teeth harshly.

"It doesn't matter anyway. What I hear is that that girl is in love with the Substitute Shinigami. Uhh, what's his name? Kuro…"

"Kurosaki Ichigo," I finished. I knew that the bitch was supposedly in love with an enemy we took her away from. It brought fire to our feud. Maybe they even had some sort of deep relationship together. I've only heard about him from Aizen's explanation about our main foes. He rescued another girl during her execution. He fought through captains and won to reach her. If he was coming to rescue the girl, he'd be saving girl after girl. I thought that the guy had some sort of Prince Syndrome and went everywhere rescuing damsels in distress.

I was puzzled at how Nnoitra formed his sentence. "What do you mean 'it doesn't matter anyway'?" I questioned him through a mouthful of dough.

"What I mean is that the girl won't allow herself to get laid because she loves _him_."

"Who the fuck said I wanted to in the first place?" I demanded.

"No one, so calm down. I'm just saying," he said, nudging him playfully.

I blinked twice at this and raised an eyebrow. I turned in my seat to face him again. "Do you doubt me or something? That chick can become my puppet in a few simple steps."

"Is that a deal your making?"

"Yes it is. I bet you I can sleep with that girl and live to tell the tale afterwards. She's soft; it'll be easy to manipulate her."

He grinned. "Alright then, it's a deal. Want anything in return when you win?"

"Nah. I don't want anything from you." Especially since he was so fucked up.

A game was created; a new sport to play that suited me—easy target too. In fact, she was on my side already. She called me her friend. I don't know how, but I set the trap before hand, and I was unaware of it. It snapped and caught her—just who I wanted to win for this deal. I don't even have to change much. She said "friend" just the way I am right? No need to act nice. I'll have to win her heart. Hmm… maybe I did have to be a little more "nice." At least I'll lessen the abusing instincts. Shit like that is what human girls like from a guy. It was a load of crap.

This'll truly be a game that I will enjoy with every moment. It gives me something to do around here too. I'll shrug to anyone who asks for a purpose and say, "Oh well, I'm bored as hell."

* * *

**A/N:** Voilà! Another chapter is born for my lovely readers. Thank you so much for reviews, favourite, story alerts... ect. I definitely try to make it more interesting in the next few chapters


	3. Aching Heart

**I Hate That I Love You – CH 3: Aching Heart **

* * *

It was one of those days when I'd walk by Orihime Inoue's room. A stroll through these halls always got me something to do instead of waiting until night to sleep, or lunch to sit with a couple of nut-jobs. The girl was a thrill. Like that time I heard Loly and Melony beating the princess; it got me to beat all three of them. I wondered what I'd catch next… I could sense her familiar scent from a mile, and I was approaching it. Although, I didn't sense Ulquiorra—he's doing a crappy job as a bodyguard again. With my usual stance, I'd walk by and risk it. But this time I had a grin stretched across my face.

I heard her little footsteps echo in the halls. As soon as she saw me, I heard her heart rate accelerate, almost thumping violently. She paused there for a while, thinking over if it was a good idea to cross my path. After a few moments, Orihime decided to go with her original plan to walk pass. I peered at her underneath my eye lashes. The girl ducked her head and folded her hands neatly in front of her. Her eyebrows were knitted together in worry. As we closed the space between us, that heart was racing. We kept walking until our backs were facing each other. She sighed in relief and her thumper slowed. She was scared of me—I liked that idea. At the same time, it was no help in achieving my game.

"Hey," I said, stopping on my tracks without looking back.

She jumped out of her skin. Once again, her heart quickened. Orihime turned around unwillingly, not sure if I was calling for her, although, there was nobody else in these hallways.

"Yeah, _you_." I looked behind me and grinned at the sight of her grimace. "Hey, Hime-chan."

"Oh. H-Hello, Grimmjow-san," she stuttered. The girl bowed at me—from her head to her torso in a stiff manner. She respected me too; that was a bonus.

"You look a little… shaken," I commented nonchalantly.

"I do? Sorry."

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm just going to roam around the building for a bit," she answered.

"That's too bad. I was going to hang around you for the afternoon." I kept my tone light.

Her eyes widened with surprise. "R-Really?"

"Yeah… but, I can find someone else. You can continue." I began to turn around…

"Wait, Grimmjow-san!" she called after me.

Just as I suspected from an air-head like her. "Hm?" I asked, looking back and raising both eyebrows.

"It'll be better if someone keeps me company." She smiled weakly.

Just like that, I was invited in her room. A small window hung above a nice couch, her bed was queen-sized, and there was a small dresser with a round mirror next to the door… All these things were better than what I had: A seven-foot mattress that didn't even fit two of me, a beaten up old couch that had metal springs popping where you least expected it and a three and a half (yes, a half) legged table that attracted dust.

"Nice," I muttered. Then I settled into the couch at once. It squeaked softly when I threw myself on it—it was comfortable too.

She sat at the armrest to my right and remained silent. Then I decided to ask her one of the questions I pondered about for a while now.

"I want to ask you something—How do you know my name?"

Orihime blinked twice. "Is that a problem for you? I had no idea—" she said in a small voice.

I interrupted her. "Never said that."

"Well… If you want to know… I asked for it. From Ulquiorra, I mean," she replied.

I guess she was wondering what her "friend's" name was, nothing more. It still bothered me that she actually asked for it. I'm nothing special. Nobody needed to know who I was.

Thirty seconds of silence passed by.

I broke it. "So what made you change your mind, woman?" I had to ask, even if I knew she was an air-head. Maybe I just wanted to start a conversation. I studied her face as I waited for an answer.

One of my brows rose when she gave me a sheepish smile. "I guess I'm trying to get along with people too hard." She laughed at herself.

Then we went back to not speaking again for a while. Maybe she was scared to say the wrong things to me. The girl only talked when I asked her questions. I always thought she wanted to say more when she explained something, because she'd stop talking between sentences.

Soon, it was too silent, and I was going no where with the game. I hated how she watched me from the corner of her eye—possibly seeing if I was going to suddenly spring up and attack her. So I brought up a topic that popped into my head…

"How 'bout your… friends? Do they know you're here?"

Her left hand twitched when I said this. "I don't think they know my exact location, but I'm sure they have noticed that I'm missing… I left here without saying goodbye. Well, I did… but it wasn't a proper one. I said goodbye to Ichi-" She stopped short again.

"Are they coming?" I asked absently, cracking my knuckles.

"Huh?"

"To rescue you. Quit being such a dumb ass about these things," I said, scowling at her.

"I don't know," Orihime said quietly. "They shouldn't." She swallowed back a lump full of tears.

"Why not?" I was puzzled. This place wasn't getting to her yet? Even_ I_ wanted to get out of here.

"Because I'm here to protect them. It wouldn't make sense if they came and took me. I think I was bringing them down anyway," she replied.

"Which friend would most likely come here? Kurosaki?"

I noticed something when his name was mentioned. The girl flinched. Simillar to what a person would do if they were given the news their house had been robbed. "Y-Yes, I think so," she answered.

"You do know that once Aizen is done with you, he's going to throw you out the window like damned garbage," I told her without looking up.

She didn't jump from her spot as much as last time. That was odd. "Yes, I know… Sometimes I feel like I deserve to be thrown out."

"How's Kurosaki going feel about that?" I questioned with a snicker. In the process of winning the game, it looks like I'm also going to find out if she does like the Substitute Shinigami. It would only make this more interesting.

"I don't know, because he shouldn't have to find out if I'm thrown out or not. That might anger him. I'm not very sure… I've seen him when he loses a battle. He only sulks for a day or two," she replied.

"Is he some sort of avenger? I'd love to see him lose while Aizen doesn't lift a finger. The big man has some scary reiatsu." I laughed wildly just to annoy her.

"No!" she shouted. The chick had a lot more volume in her voice than I thought she could summon. "He shouldn't fight for me anymore! He'll be safer that way!" I saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. Orihime's hands were into fists and on her lap.

I knew what was going on. She obviously had emotion towards him. Kurosaki fights for her, and she doesn't like that. So now she's here, thinking she's protecting him. Wrong. Her powers are being used against him and everyone else. She's too god damn stupid to realize that. I was sure she loved him. That look in her grey eyes had suggested that to me. She didn't have to tell me to know. Though, _he_ doesn't love her back. It seemed that way to me. The way she was crying like that, it approved my theory.

Orihime Inoue lives through each day with an aching heart.

* * *

**A/N: **In this chapter, they've gotten to know each other a bit more. Here's a hint for the next chapter: a battle between Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. Don't miss it!


	4. Who I Am

**I Hate That I Love You – CH 4: Who I Am **

* * *

I don't know why the fuck I kept coming back to her room. It was mostly not because of the game. I tried to tell myself that it was, but something in my mind was telling me it just wasn't the rest of it. I felt like I had another reason to see her. Did that talk we had encourage me to be at her aid? No. I don't do bullshit like that. We've never touched each other—no hugs, or even touches of comfort. I didn't even hit her anymore. It was like there was no need for that anymore. Maybe I kept coming back because her overwhelming scent was like a drug. It was already complacent to be near her.

She told me about her struggles in life. Sometimes she told that that she didn't think she wasn't pretty enough, or her friends must secretly talk behind her back. Why should I care about that bitch's life anyway? That isn't who I am. I usually never listen to my comrade's problems that they tell me. I tell them to handle it on their own and stop complaining. Why should this be any different?

I hated that name: Kurosaki Ichigo. I don't know why. 'Cause he was the reason she cries every night at her sleep? The reason why she was sleepless?

What the fuck was wrong with me? How did this all start? It was as if she bestowed a spell on me to actually _care_, and then I succumbed to it. That's not who I am. I don't give shit about anything that doesn't concern me!

So why do I still come back? I guess I had more pity in me than I thought. Maybe I was taking this game more seriously, but I was unaware of it myself.

For the past week, I sent her visits after lunch was over. Orihime expected me since I was doing it so often now. She left the door open for me to enter without her having to unlock it herself. Ulquiorra got pretty pissed off when he'd walk in her room with the sight of me in it. "Grimmjow, get out this instant," he even said once. He got even more frustrated when the girl said she allowed me in. He continued to tell her that I wasn't a good influence or I was dangerous—stuff I told her before—and she didn't listen to his firm words like she ignored mine.

So that was when he told me I could visit since she agreed, but only during the few hours after lunch.

I broke the rules… well, Ulquiorra's rules to be exact. This time I came back during night, total violation of the "after the few hours of lunch" clause. I visited her when everyone would be asleep. I couldn't help myself, even if I had already seen her this afternoon. I skipped lunch to extend my time too. I guess I shouldn't be surprised when I came in and she was next to her bed, crying on the sheets.

"What's up?" I asked casually as if she wasn't pouring her eyes out.

Orihime talked into the white fabric, her words were muffled. I couldn't understand her gibberish.

I walked closer. "Wha'?"

Then she turned around to face me, her expression was tortured in pain. "U-Ulquiorra told me that Aizen w-was going to use me to destroy Karakura Town! I d-didn't know!"

Amazing. She really _did_ come here without knowing what the fuck she was doing. "Oh," was all I said.

Honestly, how much fluids could a girl cry in a day? She was probably lost a pound everyday. Her shoulders shook with every sob. I watched the tears fall unto the red carpet, staining it with a darker blotch of red.

"Get up, Orihime," I commanded.

Her knees shook along with her when she made the effort to move off the floor.

"For God's sake, stop crying already, woman."

I pulled her by her two scrawny shoulders. Then I had to prop her up too, she kept tripping over while her head hung like a doll's.

"I said quit crying!" I said with more volume.

Orihime didn't stop. "I-I can't, Grimmjow-san! I need a…" Then she walked toward me with her arms twitching in the air. She threw her twiggy arms around my torso and rested her head on my chest, just below my chin.

What the fuck was she doing? I forgot what humans called this action… Oh, that's right—a hug. It was a form of comfort or affection. My chin was lying on top of her head. She had her own unique scent that I now smelled up close. It was stronger than ever. What compared to it? Well, it was unique. So it would be like the scent of desert rain or the atmosphere of Venus. It lingered on my nose. I'm surprised that I didn't push her off right away. But I refused to wrap my arms around her back, even if she was slowly calming down. She stopped crying after a minute of staying in the same position. I'll bet if I were to ever bring back the topic, she'll start to weep all over again.

"Thank you for letting me… I know this is not your thing," she whispered.

Why couldn't I object to a 'thank you like' before?

Then the doors flew open behind me. I couldn't see who it was. We didn't move for a few seconds, not recognizing the presence because the person masked their reiatsu. I finally turned my head to see Ulquiorra Cifer in the doorway eyeing the scene with irritation. As soon as I realized this, I came back to my senses.

"Get off me, woman!" I yelled, pushing her away as she stumbled back. Orihime stared at me with her mouth hanging open in disbelief. I had to leave her like that.

Fucking Ulquiorra had to come at the worst moment possible. I couldn't think of an excuse at the moment. It was like he was pointing a mental finger at me with those creepy green eyes of his. "Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez—" he began.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Then why are you here, at night time, in Orihime's room?" he questioned.

An excuse didn't come to me yet... Hell I couldn't even think of the truth for myself. Why the fuck am I here again?

"I'm going," I said instead. Then I proceeded out the door, bumping shoulders with him again.

Just as I hoped, he didn't follow me out. I guess he'll ask answers from her first. But I still had a feeling he'll come to me and ask as well. I cursed under my breath. He better not have Aizen involved. The game couldn't play out if the big man was on the way.

* * *

Aizen's disciple didn't come at the morning. During lunch, I sat with a heavy burden on my shoulders. There were all sorts of mixed emotions running around in my head. I thought that maybe she had convinced him not to say a word to me about it. Perhaps he didn't need to say anything to me anymore because he was tired and he's just going to lock her up for the rest of her time here. I couldn't loose the bet against Nnoitra. It was amazing how much I despised her a week ago, and now she's all I never think about. My boredom, I guess, was getting the best of me. That was the only conclusion I could form at the moment.

"How's it going?" Nnoitra said in my ear.

It was friggin' creepy how he did that. "Good," I lied.

"Your seat was cold yesterday. Decided to skip lunch for her?" he asked, grinning.

"Huh?"

"In other words, I'm asking how your little game is going so far. I'm impressed that you can come in her room everyday now. Well done."

I always wondered how he was so up to date in everything that was happening. News and gossip travelled around fast here. There wasn't a moment where someone wasn't watching or listening to you. "Yeah, its going good," was all I said.

"What's the matter, Jaegerjaquez? You seemed so piped up about it before. C'mon! You got access in her room!" he said, nudging my shoulder.

I realized I was losing my cool right now. "No, I mean it. It's really going good." I made the effort to smirk.

He chuckled again like last time. I think it got even more annoying and ear splitting. Someday, I'm going to punch a hole through that throat of his. "I heard she was crying last night after she had that talk with Aizen about destroying that former town of hers."

"Uh-huh." I nodded absently.

"That chick cried too much. It's amusing to hear and see. Makes me want to twist off her—"

I interrupted him by grabbing his neck with one hand. He dropped his spoon in surprise. All eyes were on me now. I could feel the stares boring through my face as I choked brother number five.

"What were you saying?" I asked through my gritted teeth.

He managed to laugh at me.

"Grimmjow, release him immediately!" Stark, who had got up from his seat, ordered.

I couldn't deny Stark was stronger than I was and could crush my skull if I didn't obey. Hell, Nnoitra was stronger too. But he angered me to the point where I'd risk my skull's safety. Zommari even put a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. Then the silence deepened. It took me a few seconds to tell my hand muscles to release him. I was still gritting my teeth when I finally dropped my hand. My jaw felt numb and broken like someone punched it a hundred times over.

I silently got up from my seat, only my chair making the sound in the room. I exited with my tray left on the table. I could care less about how hungry or thirsty I was right now. What I heard last was Nnoitra's god damn laugh.

Where was I going exactly? Not her room, because I was sure Ulquiorra would be there guarding. Chances are, I was banned from entering her room or seeing her. If I knew Ulquiorra as well as I thought, that would most likely be the outcome. As much as I wanted to stick around, I strolled to my room.

The empty desert stretched on forever. I couldn't seem to find where it would end. I never really saw the desert since I covered my window, and I've been stuck in this building. Well, I took the covers down now and tossed it somewhere around the room. I didn't care where.

Looking out the window… Was that really something I wanted to do all day to fill that gap of time I used with Orihime? Pathetic.

I didn't notice the familiar reiatsu enter my room. "Grimmjow," Ulquiorra called.

So he comes now. I bet he was expecting me to come to _him_ in the form of visiting her. "I'm not that stupid, Ulquiorra," I wanted to say. I stared at the blue, cloud-less sky not turning back. "Ulquiorra," I greeted.

"I'll ask you again and I want the truth: What were you doing in Orihime Inoue's room last night? I came in to see a… shocking sight."

"Ask her yourself!" I said to him with hate. But it looked like I was saying it to the sky.

"She's not saying a thing for _your_ sake. Threatening the girl is not tolerated, Grimmjow," he told me in that annoying-as-hell monotone voice of his.

"I never threatened her," I answered.

He said the words loud enough so he was sure I heard every syllable: "If that is not the case, then maybe you're in love with the human girl."

The words hit me like a brick wall in my path. I had to question myself to be able to get the truth myself. "Shut the hell up, Ulquiorra!" I angrily whipped my body around to scowl at him. My hands were clenched so hard that my skin turned white over my knuckles, being exasperated as I was.

"Are you saying that I am correct?" he asked, like he knew I wasn't about to attack him.

"Fuck no!" I exclaimed.

"Then you are forbidden to see the girl. You wouldn't care, ri—?"

I cut him off by leaping into the air and giving contact with my fist on his face. Ulquiorra flew until he crashed into the wall across my room. I stepped out the hallway to grab his collar with one hand, and hauled him up in the air until his feet touched no ground. I wanted to fell pain made by him. That how fights worked—you keep trying to hurt the other person until they give up. Except it wasn't one because, he didn't attack me back.

"You're making a mistake, Jaegerjaquez! I am number four and you are number _six_. You're smart enough to know that I can kill you with one move if I wanted!" he yelled at my face.

I laughed once, even if I knew he was speaking the truth. "Try me! If you don't, I'm going to make you!" A blue cero began to build on my other hand that didn't hold his collar. When it was the size I wanted, I dug it into his stomach.

This threw him back through five walls in this tower, spreading dust and the smell of burnt flesh—his flesh. I walked toward him with my hand around the hilt of my Zampaktou, giving a death glare to anyone who stared at the commotion. They scurried away like mice face-to-face with a cat. I'm being a dumb ass right now. Who am I to battle Ulquiorra to the death for the likes of Orihime Inoue? But I _wanted_ to. I succumbed to her, remember?

Ahead, I saw him rising to his feet. I didn't give a shit as I kept walking to my death.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, you've tested me and challenged me by this battle. Now, I'm going to finish you for disrespecting me, a higher ranked Espada. As I promised, I'm going to kill you," he said.

It was like I accepted the fact that I was going to die here and now. _Go on_, I said to him in my head.

Before I could take another breath, a piercing pain shot on my neck. It took me a few seconds to realize that Ulquiorra jabbed his hand through me.

* * *

**A/N:** Things are tensing up. Another chapter to come, don't worry. This isn't the end yet!


	5. Execution

**I Hate That I Love You – CH 5: Execution**

* * *

I didn't understand how I felt the blood go through my veins, and my breaths to come quick and shallow. I even felt that pain in my neck that should have ended me for good… and it seemed as if it were disappearing by the second. I was rising from underneath the black pond, reaching the light again. It was plain to see that I was given another chance to live.

I, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, didn't deserve to live.

After a minute, I could open my eyes just a tiny bit when I put full force into doing so. A simple task like opening your eyes was a challenge at my current state, let alone trying to get up and comprehend what was happening. I realized I was in my room and it welcomed me back with comfort and darkness. Then I saw a sheet of gold that arched above me. I've seen this gold sheet before…

Damn that Orihime.

I waited another minute to be able to turn my head to the side, I could open my eyes effortlessly now too, although that pain that coursed through me still lingered. As I expected, the girl was on her knees and was beside me. She placed her hands against the sheet. Her face was streaked with tears and her lip quivered as she watched me recover.

I hated to see her cry—she should know that.

"S-Stop crying," I croaked. My voice was gruff yet gentle; maybe because I was in too much pain to sound repulsive again.

She wiped her tears away quickly with one hand. "Sorry."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" My voice still remained controlled and gentle, even with a curse that could usually make her flinch. I hated everything that was happening.

She answered me with the obvious. "Healing you, Grimmjow-san."

I snickered, sending a sharp pain to my chest. She shouldn't shed a single tear for me. I rolled my head back to look at the ceiling, and closed my eyes to listen to her heartbeat—my favourite sound. I let her continue. If I was so determined in dying, I would get up and find some way to rip her magic little fairies apart. I let her, because I just wanted to listen to this sound for a little while longer.

I didn't know how long it was until she took down the arching gold sheet, but I counted two hundred and fifty-six heartbeats. I felt new and refreshed by the end. Just the way I left like when I was with her and _only_ her…

"Get up, Grimmjow," that irritating and familiar voice commanded behind me. Not the voice I wanted to be greeted with after recovering. It was too familiar and it stuck to my head, even if I disliked hearing it.

Ulquiorra Cifer.

I opened my eyes and glared at his direction, meeting his cold, glassy stare. Then, I slowly got up on my feet meticulously while keeping the gaze. "I suppose you were the one who sent Orihime to heal me. I should've figured."

"Yes, because it would be unwise to kill a brother that belonged to serve under Aizen-sama—even if they acted childish."

I felt like slicing him up into tiny pieces, because he was feeling a little pity for me. I could smell it. Who the fuck would bring an enemy back to life after killing them? He's rubbing it in my face, isn't he? He brought me back to life just to prove that he won. This "brother" nonsense is just a bunch of bullshit.

"No really," I dug my hands in my pocket, "what's the catch?"

"You know me very well, I see. The real reason is that Aizen-sama has called both of you in his office. You know, the one you call his _Throne Room_. He ordered me command Orihime to heal you. I know that wouldn't be a problem since you two have created a tight bond," he explained.

Orihime's eyes grew wide. I simply stared at him in disgust. I knew he couldn't keep Aizen away for long. I suddenly imagined pounding him against the wall until his skull cracked open.

"What the hell does he need us for? What's the purpose behind all this?" I demanded.

"He is scheduling an execution based on the current situation and what you have to say for yourselves," Ulquiorra said in his monotone, like this was a walk through the park.

"An execution? For who?" Orihime asked, digging her nails in her hand with her tight fists.

"Grimmjow, of course," he answered.

I snickered. So he wanted to see Aizen kill me instead…

"No!" the girl lurched to her feet.

Before she could reach me, Ulquiorra swiftly grabbed her shoulders and he pushed her down until she stumbled to the floor. He was taking advantage of her weakness. I was momentarily surprised when Orihime tried to kick Ulquiorra away when he grabbed the top of her head and yanked her hair.

"Is it futile to avoid it, Orihime," he told her.

"I don't want to see Grimmjow-san die because of me!" she wailed.

"Relax, Hime-chan. It's not the end of the world... for you," I said calmly. It was for me.

Ulquiorra covered her mouth with his rough hand before she could say more.

"Cooperate, please, Orihime. You won't be hurt in this situation at all," he said in an effort to make her shut up.

I didn't even try to escape or make a run for it—I obediently walked along my "brother's" side as he pulled Orihime along with him, trapping her in an arm twist as he still kept his hand on her mouth. She sent signals to me with her eyes, telling me she was sorry and that I needed to run. I just ignored them. Hell, I knew it was going to end for me someday, I just didn't know it was because of a pathetic human girl.

I didn't know what I was being sentenced for exactly, but it had to do with the chick. Maybe he suspected I screwed her that night I was in her room. There were strict rules against abusing the girl that Aizen set out to us. Of course it wouldn't matter once he no longer needed her. Ulquiorra walked in and he saw her clothes on that night… of course, he wouldn't mention that important detail.

Ulquiorra had enough of her screaming and mumbling on his hand. "Orihime, that's enough! You know full well that if you speak out of term, you will join Grimmjow to your death as well!" He was bluffing. Aizen would never just throw away his secret weapon to his success all because she was rude. He had other methods if that ever happened.

Finally, we reached the big doors to his Throne Room or what Ulquiorra named it _Aizen-sama's Office._ It called me by name, inviting me in. I gladly took its invitation. Was I ready to die? I asked myself. _Yes._ And for what exactly? _The girl obviously_. I was fucking messed in the brain. The girl did something to me! She was like a drug that I kept coming back for. She bewitched me. Maybe those hair pins did it and had some kind of power like that. It would be better for her if I was gone. It would be better for me if I never saw her again.

I pushed the door aside and came in like I was ready to play hop-scotch with Aizen. He lumbered in his chair and rested his chin on one hand. His fingers spread on the side of his face like spider legs. The man's eyes showed boredom. By his side were Tōsen and Ichimaru like always.

"What do you need me for, boss?" I asked nonchalantly.

In the background, I could hear Orihime's muffled screams.

"Be silent and kneel!" Ulquiorra commanded as he released her and got on the floor.

In fear of Aizen's presence, she followed with gritted teeth.

"I know you know that you're going to die. Don't be so casual about it, Jaegerjaquez," he said, moving only his lips.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I know. Why'd you bring the girl?"

He scowled at my flippant tone. In all the Espadas, I was the one who rarely treated him like the king he thought he was. I treated him more like an old pal and I ignored the knowledge that he could kill me in a second if he desired. "Because Orihime Inoue is part of the problem and I need answers. Shall we begin your trial?"

"Sure, sure."

Ulquiorra went to stand in the far back as Orihime—with shaky legs—stood alone somewhere to my left.

"Were you, or were you not in Inoue's room at night?" he asked.

"I was," I admitted. No hesitations whatsoever. Let's get this over with, shall we?

"Why?" he switched gazes to Orihime.

"B-Because… I called Grimmjow-san over to tell him… about your original plan that you have told me," she stuttered. That girl is just hoping we can squeeze out of this with the truth.

"Ahh, yes—the one that you had been upset over. Is that correct, Grimmjow?"

"That's... partly true. Well, I just came over because I fucking felt like it." Lie.

"That doesn't explain why Ulquiorra walked in and saw a _hugging feast_. I specifically told everyone what no one must bother or plan to manipulate the girl their own way. She's part of us now, remember?"

Right, right. Then why are you going to throw her away when you're done with her? I wanted to say. But I would only end up dead faster. "I said I did that because I felt like it—nothing more." More lies. "And hell, I'm not manipulating her." It seemed like _she_ was manipulating me.

Orihime gasped and looked up at me with disbelieving eyes. "No! Grimmjow-san, please don't lie!" She turned back to Aizen. "I was the one who—!"

He interrupted her, clearly bored with the back-and-forth going on here. "Why?"

"Because he was comforting me while I cried!" She believed that the truth would set us free... it would, possibly... I just didn't want to be free anymore.

Ichimaru and Tōsen exchanged a look as Aizen chuckled softly. "Please, Orihime, we want the truth."

"I _am_ telling the truth!" she insisted.

"_Grimmjow_ comforted you? You're kiddin' right?" Ichimaru laughed too.

"Now, now, Gin. We haven't asked Grimmjow if what she's saying is true or not." Aizen nodded at my direction.

I scowled. "You think I _want_ to be hugged? The chick just came at me."

Orihime looked at me with watery eyes. Then she clasped her hands together in front of her chest. "G-Grimmjow-san! You comforted me just by being there!"

"Here's another question for you Grimmjow: Why do you visit the girl regularly? It's unlike you. Unless of course, you were planning something form the start."

I completely snapped, letting all the bundled anger out. People had began to misunderstand me already. "It's not! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me! That bitch did something to me!" I pointed at her with a white-knuckled finger. "She's making me draw closer and closer to her each moment we're together! Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore!" Then I dropped to my knees in defeat. "Just kill me already, Aizen!" I yelled, my voice echoing off the walls in the large room.

She got me. I'm admitting it. She got me. I want it to stop. No matter how hard I want to be with Orihime, I can't deny that I, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, am in love with Orihime Inoue.

"Grimmjow-san!" she wanted to come at me and embrace me all over again.

I gave her a death glare that made her freeze on the spot. "Stay away from me, woman! I'll kill you! You're the one who's ruining me!"

"Jaegerjaquez!" Aizen exclaimed.

I ignored him, and so did she.

She took a step toward me. Part of me wanted to hold her forever, yet part of me wanted to kill her. It was more like me to kill relentlessly than to succumb to a human girl. So I went with that... I got to my feet growled under my breath and unsheathed my Zampaktou. She stared at me in horror. As soon as I took a step, I crossed swords with Ulquiorra Cifer.

"Step back, Jaegerjaquez. Are you trying to get killed?" he said.

_Hell yeah_, I mentally answered. But I didn't have to listen to him. I kept gathering all my strength into pushing number four back so I could kill the girl. He was stronger—he's already killed me once. In result, I skidded back and slammed into the wall.

Three things happened simultaneously: Tōsen raced to me with his weapon handy, ready to kill me on the spot. Ichimaru held Ulquiorra back from attacking. Orihime ran toward me from behind Ulquiorra. On his throne, Aizen grinned.

All I heard next was her screaming: "Sōten Kisshun!" Then the same golden sheet divided my body and Tōsen's weapon from each other.

I was breathless. Orihime knew I wanted to kill her, yet she defended me. What the fuck was going on? What was she trying to prove to everyone?

"I refuse to see the world without a Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez!" I hadn't noticed she wrapped her thin arms around me from my left side. "You'll just have to kill me too!"

My glistening, and sharp blade was within my reach and the girl was here by my side...

I could kill her...

But I didn't and held still instead, letting her touch me. I refused to see the world without an Orihime Inoue.

She removed the shield and challenged Tōsen to kill both of us. "Do it if you want to!"

It was refreshing to see Tōsen with an expression of defeat. He dropped his weapon and it clang on the marble floor.

* * *

**A/N: **How did the action go in this chapter? Was it as nail-bitting as I hoped? Look forward to the next chapter! There will definitely be a turn of events


	6. Sixteen Days

**I Hate That I Love You - CH 6: Sixteen Days**

* * *

"You may live for now, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez," Aizen announced. "Just watch yourself or you won't be so lucky next time."

I accepted this new fate easily, quickly getting rid of old thoughts and emotions. I shrugged as if I wasn't rejoicing in the inside. "Fine with me."

Behind Ulquiorra's frozen mask, I knew his face would have been morph to anger and disappointment. He didn't want to see me walk out alive. Tōsen and Gin threw me sharp scowls; they couldn't go against what Aizen wanted, even if he had promised them that I would die today.

Ulquiorra, Orihime and I made our way down the hall to Orihime's room. She was real cheery about the final decision about me, completely ignoring the big talk she had with Aizen after I was set off the hook. Although, I felt like something remained wrong about Aizen letting me live. As if it was the wrong decision. I continued to look at her while a painful spark ignited in the pit of my chest. Every word, every touch, every smile…

This feeling… it won't go away. I don't like it. I was never completely satisfied, because I still loved her—the human girl who was pathetic and weak. I didn't want to love her the way I did. I had to do something about it...

When he reached her room, we lingered outside for a little while. She turned around to give me big smile, ignoring the fact that I almost killed her. Then she quickly bowed. "Goodbye, Grimmjow-san!"

"Wait a minute," I called, grabbing her shoulder before she opened the doors to enter. "I need a few seconds with you." I turned to give Ulquiorra a firm expression. "Alone."

"Ulquiorra, can he...?" she hesitated to ask him, knowing that he would most likely decline to my request.

He nodded after a moment of thinking it through. "Just one minute is all you get, Jaegerjaquez. I'm timing you."

Immediately, I pushed Orihime into her room and closed the door behind me. Despair shun at my eyes now that it was just me and her.

"What is it?" she asked, somehow feeling terrified.

The words were foreign in my mouth. They didn't roll of my tongue nicely. The syllables were uneven when it came out of my own mouth. "Th-Thank... you."

Her eyes widened to the same surprise I felt. "You're welcome," she whispered. "Feel free to come by tomorrow." Orihime's eyes dazzled at the thought.

"No, Orihime..." I shook my head angrily. "Don't you understand? I can't see you anymore!"

She blinked twice. "I'm sure Ulquiorra is allowing it if I—"

I interrupted her quickly. "I said no! I feel like I don't want to see you anymore. Got that?" I explained. It felt like something in my body twisted with unease.

"Wh-What do you mean?" she stuttered.

"I'll say it again, _I don't want to see you anymore_. It's not right for me to... It's just unhealthy for me. Besides… I always go through trouble when I'm with you."

She swallowed hard. "B-But, Grimmjow-san! I-"

"That's enough out of you, Orihime! _You_ did this to me. It's _your_ fault! I... I gotta go." I moved my legs in the direction of the door without thinking about it twice.

"Wait!" she yelled after me, grabbing my wrist with both hands curled around it. She was already in tears.

I withdrew my hand harshly, making her flinch in surprise. "Just go away!" With those final words, I decided to leave her life _forever_…

* * *

It's been sixteen days since I told Orihime to go away. Sixteen days since I last saw her. Sixteen days since I heard her voice. Funny... I never counted the days that went by before. Arrancars never grew old, so it didn't matter how many years pass by.

I've been a wreck on those sixteen days. I weakly ate three spoonfuls of soup each day and threw out the rest. Whenever I was bored as hell, I stared out the window again. Like I thought, it wasn't filling that gap. I could care less now if the other guys teased me or when Ulquiorra played around with words toward me. I've been skipping meetings lately only because I didn't want to see Ulquiorra and ask him how Orihime was doing—It was simply tempting.

I bet that chick is doing great without me. Has she made some other friends? I wasn't absolutely sure. I still hear other people talking about her crudely, and I recoil myself from defending her. They never call her by her real name—I've never heard her four-syllable name spoken again. Even with Ulquiorra. It was always "the girl" now. I bet she's getting a lot of praise from Aizen and his loyal disciples for having the guts to stay away from what they warned her for.

I was wrong sixteen days ago.

_This_ was not healthy. Hell I'm a lot worse than before she came here. It might be healthy if I just visit her for one afternoon... No. I can't. I already humiliated myself by telling her all those shit. She won't accept me back, not even as a friend. Hey, I guess she was the first friend I had here too.

Life is a load of shit—at least for me it is.

And sixteen days later, I heard her name again...

"Orihime," that familiar voice said.

That name sent an electrical current through me. A shock like something had jumped in front of me and hit me in the gut. I looked away from the window I was gazing out at and met Ulquiorra's eyes. "What?"

He sighed. "You weren't listening to me, were you? I said, Orihime got punished yesterday during the meeting," he repeated, but all I seemed to hear before was that name I cherished.

I frowned. "Punished? Why?"

"Talking out of term—In the middle of Aizen-sama's lecture, she pointed to your empty seat and said 'he's not here'," he explained.

"She did that?" I smirked. "Idiot."

He locked his jaws tighter and scowled at me.

"And you're telling me this because...?"

"I figured you would be concerned, being her friend and such," he said. The guy could have rolled his eyes in addition. Even as her bodyguard, he never knew her well enough.

I let that comment slide. "So what's her punishment?" I asked, although I knew it couldn't be too severe.

"The girl got her hairpins taken away and is now in the possession of Aizen-sama. She may only have it back when she is assigned to use them," Ulquiorra explained.

I remembered my theory of Orihime manipulating me with her hairpins... Yup, I still felt something. It wasn't the hairpins after all. Shit... now she's got no protection if someone attacked her when Ulquiorra does a fucked up job of being her bodyguard one day by leaving her out of his sight. It's her fault. Or is it mine? She only had to say that because I don't come during meetings...

I didn't reply.

"I'm going away for an errand. I'll be back in two days, maybe three," he said.

I shrugged. "Why'd you have to announce that to me?"

"I wanted to ask if you could look after her for now."

"You can forget it." I turned back to looking out the window. The sand below did not distract me. I took down the chance of seeing her. Until this feeling went away, I had to keep my distance.

I heard the rustle of his clothes. He had shrugged his shoulders. "I'll try to be back soon then." In the next second, he was gone. Maybe that shrug symbolized a challenge. The asshole was seeing if I'd snap and come see her when he wasn't around.

"Orihime has no defences," I muttered to myself, letting the fact hit me harder. Fucking Aizen isn't doing a good job of keeping his _servants_ safe. Damn that Shinigami.

Was I going to her room? I asked myself. "No. I'm taking a stroll," I answered my unspoken question aloud. Anyways, I was going to the opposite direction of her room—Might as well roam around aimlessly until it's time to sleep. The sound of my footsteps was the only audible sound in the silent corridor. It gave me permission to think things over, although this silence was ordinary.

A certain scent filled my nostrils. I somewhat enjoyed the stench. It wasn't Orihime in general, but this stench _belonged_ to her. Blood. My mind took a detour, a huge one. Immediately, I raced through the halls toward her room. I couldn't stop my legs from moving as fast as they could go. What happened to my _"stay away from the girl"_ rule?

I figured she was being abused again, taking advantage of the time Ulquiorra was gone to giver her a piece of their mind. Every wall was a blur as it zoomed by. The smell of blood came closer, and the silence remained. That was peculiar. It was too silent for the sounds of beating. No desperate scream, no thumps against the wall and floor. Nothing. Even if I knew this, I still kept moving. Finally her room was in my view. I flew through her doors.

And sixteen days later, I saw her again.

She was on the floor and on her knees, fidgeting with something. Her hands were bleeding as she picked up the broken fragments of a glass bowl. Every piece she picked up would cut her. Clumsy as always, huh? Slowly she turned her head. When we met gazes, her eyes grew wide like last time and she made a little gasp. "Grimmjow-san!" she whispered.

I froze for a second, debating whether I should make a run for it now, because I'll get swallowed up again. "What the hell are you doing?" I finally asked.

She gave me a sheepish smile and her cheeks turned scarlet in embarrassment. I always did catch her in the worst moments of humiliation. "I... I broke the bowl."

"I know that! But why the hell are you touching its fragments? Can't you see you're hurting yourself?" I sounded like an overprotective parent.

"I don't want Aizen-sama to get mad at me," she reasoned.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to her. _Bad, bad, bad_, a voice in my head said. I told it to shut the fuck up. I left her jaw hanging as I moved closer. Then I kneeled next to her and stared at her bleeding hands. I took them in mine, gentler than I've even been with anything. Blood was always like a perfume to me. Every battlefield needed a whiff of blood, and that made it glorious. "You know that glass here in Heuco Mundo is tougher than your guys' right?" I asked.

"I figured that out just now," she replied in a small voice.

She couldn't heal herself because she didn't have her hairpins. That's just great... Orihime would've cut her own hands off if I didn't come. I quickly tore two pieces of long fabric from my pants, and then wrapped them around her injured hands. The pleasant stench of salt and rust filled my nostrils.

"Wh-What are you doing, Grimmjow-san?" she said in surprise as I damaged my clothes. I was different from her in that category. She ironed and neatly folded her clothes and I threw mine wherever.

"Be quiet," I said.

She disregarded it. "How... did you know I was hurt?" she asked hesitantly.

"I could have smelled your fucking blood two towers away," I replied.

The scent now was faint since I covered it up with the cloth as it jammed the bleeding. Humans took weeks to recover in injuries like this. I'd have to ask Aizen if he could lend the hairpins to her just for this situation.

"Sorry if I made you come over here when you were busy," Orihime apologized.

I was no where near busy.

"Did Ulquiorra make you my bodyguard now?"

"...sure."

"Sorry," she repeated.

I stood up after I was done securing the cloth to her hand, and she copied. "Why are you sorry?" I asked.

"Because I know you wanted me to stay away," she whispered.

The look in her eyes told me that she took those words roughly. _Just go away!_ It echoed in my head. I regretted saying it to her. "Oh well, can't do anything about it now." That was, in a way, my style of apologizing.

"Sorry."

"Stop saying that, woman!"

Orihime nodded vigorously. She made me feel like I was treated her like a pet—the way she added "san" every time she said my name, the way she seemed unhesitant to obey me.

There was another pause as we both waited for the other person to move next. I had two choices: I could stay, or I could do the "right" thing and leave.

"You can... sweep that up with a broom and dustpan now," I said, nodding toward the fragments that was scattered on the red carpet of her room.

"All right." But she didn't move from her spot.

I gave her a weak smile. "I gotta go." I seemed to be saying that I lot to her, and she gave me the same look every time too. I turned around and headed for the door. This time, she didn't say anything, but I thought I heard her mutter a goodbye.

I closed the door behind me and my hand froze on the door handle, debating if I should really just walk away like this...

A few seconds later, I opened the door again to peer in.

* * *

**A/N:** Hooray! I'm done writing out this whole story... on a sheet of paper at least. I have a total of 12 chapters. So I hope you're one to read that much chapters. Any thoughts? Review!


	7. Promise

**I Hate That I Love You - CH 7: Promise **

* * *

When I entered the room quietly, she was still standing in the same spot a few seconds ago. The broom and dustpan remained untouched in the corner. The broken glass on the carpet was still in front of her. Though this time, her head was hanging down and I could see the glimmer of water on her face. The sounds of soft sobs were audible. Orihime didn't know I was here, standing at the entrance, watching her cry quietly. I hated it when she cried. Hell, I hated a lot of things—this was, I think, the thing I most hated. Not working for a Shinigami or having Ulquiorra pester me all the god damned time, but when Orihime cried.

_Why is she crying?_ I had to wonder.

I cleared my throat, loud enough for her to finally notice me, as if sending her a mental message of _"I told you not to do that when I'm around." _When she lifted her head and realized my presence, she quickly wiped her face with the back of her arm.

Orihime gave me a sheepish smile. "I didn't know... you came back. Sorry... I should sweep this already." She made no movements to reach the broom on the other side of the room. She was immobile.

"Why the fuck are you crying this time?" I asked because I truthfully didn't know the reason. The best I could think of was because she would be alone until Ulquiorra's return.

"Nothing. Forget it." She shook her head and started to walk away, although she was not going in the direction of the broom.

I followed quickly with my long strides and then spun her around by her shoulder. She still avoided eye contact, so I lifted her chin and bent down to her eye-level. I was too close for comfort—I could tell because she shivered as she unwillingly stared at my blue eyes. "I asked you a question," I said, being surly.

"You're going to hurt me if I tell you!" she pressed.

I snickered. "Just tell me why, dammit! The sooner, the less painful. It depends on your reason."

Orihime shook out of my grasp and made her way to the couch to sit down. She acted like she did a crime that _I_ wouldn't tolerate. I couldn't help but be curious of what Orihime Inoue committed. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to sit with her. I stayed put anyway. Seeing this, she patted the space next to her twice. I took the invitation and moved my legs toward her. I silently stared at her with a warning flashing in my eyes, trying to squeeze it out of her wordlessly.

"All right, I'll tell you." She took a deep breath. The rest came out in a rush. "What if I said I cried because I thought I wasn't going to see you for a long time again?"

I smirked. "No really, Orihime." Why was she acting so secretive and guilty?

"I'm telling the truth. I was upset everyday since you told me to go away. That really hurt me, Grimmjow-san! Why... why would you do that?" The new batch of tears spilled over.

Have I seen her cry this much before? Not since she heard I was going to be executed. All because of me? That was a load of bull shit if you ask me. Somewhere, I felt warm because she was upset like I was during our separation. A part of her never forgot me as well.

"Why?" she repeated, tightening her jaw.

Why was I weak enough to the point of wanting to please the girl? At the same time, I had all these words bundled in my chest that I wanted to release all on her. I snapped again, seeing her face twist with pain. "I already told you: _you_ made me like this, Orihime! I didn't mean to fall for your petty trap, but it happened without a warning!" I grabbed her collar, pulling her closer so I was sure I had her full attention and that she knew I was firm with my words.

"And what do you mean by that? What did I do?" she demanded, gaining volume.

"It's your fucking fault that I'm in love with you, Orihime!" I exclaimed, releasing her. The words slipped out of my mouth without permission and I wanted to cut my tongue off. Now she knew my little secret. The secret I'd been hiding from myself and her. I felt weak to admit it. As if my back front line was completely exposed to my opponent.

Orihime incessantly cried, even as she fell to my lap.

"Dammit, Orihime, stop that! You're pissing me off!" I prompt her up until her head was resting on my chest and she sat on my lap. I held her, cradled her—the girl that I loved—until she stopped shedding tears for me. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled that unique scent. I wiped the drying salt-water off her face with my thumb.

"I tried to ignore this feeling by separating myself from you. It won't go away. I just can't stay away from you. I hate that I love you and that's just another thing I have to put up with," I whispered in her ear, explaining myself. I didn't have to look to see that she was surprised. Anyone who heard of this fact would feel the same. _It's not like him_, I imagined them thinking. _He's crazy. _I stared up at the plain, grey ceiling instead. Then I closed my eyes to listen to that heartbeat again.

It speeded wildly for a whole minute. That was of expected because she loved Kurosaki and not me. How was she going to tell her friend? Then it calmed as seconds ticked by. I felt her fidgeting around in my arms, getting comfortable. Her hot breath tickled my chest as she laid her head there.

If only time stood still...

Then she made the effort to sit up until she could place her head underneath my jaw. I still kept my left arm around her back. "Grimmjow, Grimmjow, Grimmjow..." she whispered repeatedly, letting the syllables roll of her tongue easily. I felt her hands on my side of my face, and she forced me to duck to her level. I kept my eyes closed as her breath blew on my lips…

I didn't understand why she kissed me next. It was a mystery. But, I _enjoyed_ it. Something told me I wanted to do this myself for a long time now. Her taste matched her scent; it was unique and delicious. It must've felt weird for her to kiss that hunk of bone on the side of my face. I began to move my mouth along with hers fiercely. I've never kissed anyone before because I have never fallen in love before. It felt odd at first, but then it grew to a more comforting state until I was enraptured by it. She was gasping for air soon enough, but then she kept coming back for more. Her knees were on either side of me and our breaths became tangled like the atmosphere. Doing this was only making me love her more. She knew that. Why was she doing this to me?

"Hold up," I said, putting my hand on her forehead and pushing her to prevent her from getting any closer. "Why are you...?" I couldn't seem to form a sentence—I was too overwhelmed. Then I slid away from underneath her and to my feet. I had my back to her as she replied.

"Wh-What do you mean?" she asked.

"What about Kurosaki? Are you suddenly deciding to forget about him?" I knew it was wrong to remind Orihime about him when I was getting what I yearned for, but I also knew I would feel horrible during the night when I'd think about it.

Her heart raced, and I turned around to smirk at her. Orihime's face was full of bewilderment.

"You know what? Don't worry about it. I'll pretend it never happened." I started for the door. I was going to regret this.

"Grimmjow-san! I—!"

I cut her short and looked back to explain something to her. "I know you love him, Orihime." It felt like my organs were shattered with pain greater than Ulquiorra's own hand through my throat. Then I continued on my way, not interested in hearing her excuse.

Why did I walk away again? Oh, yeah. It didn't feel right to be kissing somebody who was in love with your own foe. This was one of the reasons I didn't want to fucking love Orihime Inoue. She's a distraction, a weakness. I've never had one before. Why start now?

* * *

I pondered over this during the night while I lay in bed, the streaks of moonlight cast shadows to objects in the room. I had my hands behind my head, eyes closed and one leg hanging off to the side. I sighed aloud. That taste in my mouth lingered. I wanted _more_. What was I supposed to do now? Ignore her again af—?

My train of thought was interrupted by light that came from the hall, as it stabbed through my closed lids. The person hid there reiatsu well because I didn't recognize who it was. Damn... I didn't know Ulquiorra would be back so soon. Then he quickly walked across my room to my bed after closing the door. These steps were too light to be Ulquiorra. Besides, if he wanted my attention he would just yell for it. Then who the fuck was in my room?

I felt how the person leaned against the side of my mattress. I unlocked my hands from behind my head and soon, I could hear my favourite sound playing, the warmth was coming quickly.

Orihime gave me gentle and swift little pecks on my corner of my mouth. Before I could stop myself, I sat up and hauled her on my bed. Then I started kissing her again, filling my appetite. I completely forgot all about that distraction-shit that I was pondering about earlier. Now that she was already in my grasp, there was no stopping me. Her fingers tangled in my hair and I placed my hand underneath her jaw. I moved to her cheek bone and made a trail down her jaw line and to her collar bone. She tackled me down until she was on top of me and I wrapped my arms around the small of her back. We stayed like that for a few minutes that felt like years of pure happiness.

Then I felt water on my shoulder. Orihime was crying. Her body shook afterwards.

"Orihime, what's wrong?" I whispered into the night.

"Gr-Grimmjow-san, promise me something please!" Her voice was thick with tears.

With whatever witchcraft she used, she got me to fall into her palms. "Anything," I said. Anything to stop her from crying.

"Promise me that you won't ever leave me again. Those days that I spent without you, they were meaningless and cruel. I don't want to live like that ever again!"

My voice came hard and firm. "Are you sure about that? You're asking me to stay with you, you know? Me. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez."

"Yes I'm sure! I've never been more sure in my life! Grimmjow-san, please understand that Ichigo is just part of my past. I did love him, that's true. He's just a friend now and nothing more. You're the only one that has a place in my heart. No one else!" she explained whole-heartedly. Her words were pure and truthful.

It felt like I was dreaming when she said that even now that I have her in my arms. Somehow, I believed every word she said. "I promise," I stated. "I'll never let that happen to you again. I promise."

* * *

**A/N: **Here's the skinship and affection I bet some of you have been waiting for! I felt like I rushed a little in this chapter. If anything confused you, drop me a line.


	8. Abnormal

**I Hate That I Love You - CH 8: Abnormal **

Time to involve a certain substitute Shinigami into all this.

* * *

I woke up with the light from out the window painfully stabbing my eyes. Recalling what had happened last night, I suddenly felt a knot tighten in my chest. I succumbed to her and told her I'd do whatever to make her happy. I even promised her things… It seemed like my world revolved around Orihime Inoue now. I accept this new weak side of me. Why else would I make that promise? It was a promise I was willing to keep nevertheless. It's like my mind was completely cleared, except that the knowledge to make Orihime happy stayed.

The first thing I smelled during my seconds of consciousness was Orihime's overwhelming, unique scent. The first thing I felt was my arm around her bare waist; her skin being soft and smooth was comforting and delightful. The first thing I heard was her even breathing as she slept.

I wanted to stay under this blanket for eternity. Tough luck...

I got up from the bed carefully and put on my clothes that laid on the floor over night. Then I placed Orihime's next to her on the bed. Without the guidance of a mirror, I tousled my hair to its usual messy shape. That outta do it. I took advantage of the time Ulquiorra was away. The night—with no pesky bodyguard always interrupting everything—was spent wisely. Maybe, I'd have to kill Ulquiorra myself to get this quiet and alone time again.

"Grimmjow-san?" Orihime called when she found the space next to her was vacant.

"Sleep, Orihime," I said.

She sat up from the bed anyway, showing me the front of her black lace bra again. "Morning already?" Then she yawned and started to get out of bed.

"Hey. Put on your clothes first. You know, just in case someone walks in," I cautioned. I could not believe the load of shit I would get to if we were caught spending the night together. I was already planned to get executed before for just the simple action of a hug.

"We've been risking that all night," she confirmed in a whisper.

_True,_ I thought.

As soon as she was done pulling her clothes on, she rushed into my arms and kissed me swiftly on my lips. "Good morning," she said.

I was going to miss all this when Ulquiorra gets back. "How 'bout some breakfast, Hime-chan? I'm your bodyguard for now. Why don't I take you there?" I smirked.

* * *

I stayed in her room for the remaining two days and forgot the last time I was bored. With the girl, it seemed like I never was. We filled the gap of time by simply being around each other—that was better than anything I could think of. She told me stories, each of my questions led to one. I played with a lock of her vibrant hair while she told me one about her brother and her friend named Tatsuki.

I kept her away from the assholes that had the instinct to pull her hair out or break every bone in her body. They knew about Ulquiorra's absence since word got out quickly. But I told them I was in charge for the next few days. They seemed to be equally scared of Ulquiorra and me and stayed away. That incident with Loly and Melony remained fresh in their memory.

When he came back, that was like the bomb that destroyed my happiness and filled the rest of me with despair all over again. Every hour, every minute, every second I was away from her side, it felt like I had a kanata through my head that weighted heavily.

Orihime allowed visits of course, but he only allowed them when lunch was over. We made use of it carefully. Most of the time, I would ram her against the wall, pull her thigh over my waist and crush my mouth against hers. Sometimes, our conversations were supposed to be filled with hate, but we somehow purified them...

"How does it feel like… to be different?" she asked me while she was combing her hair in front of the mirror.

I looked up in surprise. "Huh?"

"You know what I mean."

"No actually. I'm not sure what you're getting at," I admitted, frowning. "What do you mean by 'different'?"

"Being... with me. A _human_," she said. "You get criticized a lot now, I figure." Her tone suggested she was guilty of the fact.

I never cared much when people would ask me if I was feeling all right. I'd simply answer with a simple, "never been better." Now that I thought about it, wasn't Orihime 'different' too? "Hey, you're abnormal too. You're in love with a _creature of the dark_." I grinned.

"I know." A tiny smile appeared on her face. "But how does it feel like for _you_?"

"Well, I still hate that I love you, Hime-chan," I confirmed. Hime-chan was a name I played around with, mocking almost.

"Yes, I know that too. Sometimes, I wish I was in love with Kurosaki-kun again," she said with a shrug, as if she was fine with everything the way it was now.

"Sometimes, I wish I would rather be a cockroach," I muttered.

"But otherwise, I wouldn't be as complete." She turned around and threw a big smile right at me.

I didn't say anything in return, but I knew that I agreed with her.

* * *

It was after lunch, and my legs dragged me to Orihime's room. Like always, Ulquiorra would eat faster than anyone else so he could stand outside in front of the big doors, mostly because he didn't trust me. That ass was just waiting for the day that I'd turn around and kill Orihime.

He seemed to oddly watch me while I approached. "Hey," I greeted before pushing the doors open.

He grabbed my wrist before I could, and he gave me a cold glare.

"What the hell, man? She said—" I began protesting.

"I know what she said, Jaegerjaquez. You're not skipping on today's meeting are you? Aizen-sama specifically requested _all_ to participate. It will occur soon. I've informed Orihime about it—she understands," he explained.

"How about just a—" he cut me short again. That was getting on my nerves.

"How about we go to it now? It's better to be early than late," he said in his monotone. I knew he was rushing me to make sure I don't skip this time. Orihime's heart beats were even, he has done nothing to her.

Before I could respond, he dragged me away by my arm. I snatched it back harshly. "All right, I'm coming. Sheesh." Why was this meeting so important that I had to come? Usually, he let me off the hook when meeting were just a bunch of reminders.

I made my way with number four toward the opposite direction of Orihime.

"Are we all here?" Aizen asked at the head seat for our long table. His eyes flickered automatically to me, and he smiled humbly, seeing me present. He would pat Ulquiorra on the back later and maybe even give him a doggy treat. "Good. We shall begin."

I raised my index finger.

"What is it, Jaegerjaquez?" He rolled his eyes and asked. Maybe he was remembering now why he let's me skip all the meetings. I wanted to annoy him like hell.

"What's this about?" I questioned. "Why'd I have to come?"

"It pertains with the entire Soul Society and how they're advancing on us," he answered politely. Aizen was wishing he could kill me behind his fake smile. "Now, we succeeded for this long without any attacks. I find it a bit suspicious that we haven't received any, even if they know our location. If we—"

I interrupted by sticking my finger in the air again.

He sighed. "Yes?"

"Why don't we just attack Karakura town already? Are we just sittin' here waiting until they make a move before _we_ do?" I asked.

Tōsen, who was to his right, spoke instead. "Grimmjow, if you wait and listen, Aizen-sama will get to that part."

"Continue please," Stark said.

Aizen nodded, seeing other people backing him up. "As I was saying, if we make a move, that might be exactly what they want. There might be a trap and we would be unprepared," he explained. "Now, I want to hear suggestions for a new strategy."

Ulquiorra raised his hand immediately.

"Cifer."

"If you don't mind me asking first; do you have access to the Soul Society files and documents? There might be information there," he told his master.

Aizen shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The files are top secret and hidden in the quarters of Captain Commander Yamamoto and I have lost access to them—even if I was a captian—because of my… early leave." His eyes scanned the table. "Szayel?"

"How about we send a threat to back them down?" The pink-haired Espada suggested.

"Well... we could. Though, this might knock a sense of alert. The Soul Society has many great fighters, if I may admit," Aizen said after pondering through it. "Anyone else?"

The room remained quiet and nobody moved.

I snickered and slumped further into my chair, not really giving a shit about precautions. If he was so powerful, why does he need us? Fucking coward of a leader...

"Jaegerjaquez?" he called.

I was surprised to hear my name. Maybe he read my mind. I looked up at him with the slightest bit of interest. "Hmm?"

"You have a devious mind, don't you? What do you plan on doing?"

Getting the hell of this meeting. "I don't know." I shrugged.

He ignored my respond; he seemed to insist I had something in my mind. "You have clever tricks up your sleeve. Tell us the first thing on your mind about the situation... It'll allow you to leave those doors sooner." He added the last part for encouragement.

I guess it worked. "Send one person to sneak into the World of the Living and get information the old fashion way: pulling a guy by their throat to squeeze out any knowledge. There are people there who know about the situation and the information we need, right? They probably don't stand a chance against one Espada."

Aizen sat up right from his seat, considering it. "What if that plan goes the other way around? What if they get information out of us ins—"

I rudely cut him off. No one goes against my saying, especially if they asked for it in the first place. "That won't happen if we know who we're dealing with."

"What do you mean?"

"Who's someone who'll insist on handling a battle on their own no matter what. Someone who would rather like to know where we're keeping the girl instead of information about our plans." I explained.

After a few seconds of pondering, his lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Kurosaki Ichigo."

There was that jolt of electricity that was sent through everyone in the room, maybe 'cause they were afraid of his skills. The Substitute Shinigami who fought through captains and rescued the Soul Society in situations like those Bounts.

"I've met him myself, and he's perfect for the plan," Tōsen said.

"Now, we need someone who can defeat him," Gin told us.

My hand remained lowered as the majority of the group raised theirs; they wanted to see that power for themselves. The rest doubted his abilities and couldn't care less and I was one of them.

Aizen had said one Espada's name. "Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez."

I had to accept the job without much of an option after he spoke of _my_ name. Once he said something, everyone had to go by that no matter what. That's how bosses are. No one had the right to go against their word. No matter how much they refused or disagreed. I bit my tongue in order to save myself from getting killed for real. I stiffened in my seat that I couldn't even give Aizen a scornful expression. I didn't give a damn about meeting the Substitute Shinigami. Why couldn't he pick someone who was determined? I thought my obstinacy would wear on him.

As the meeting concluded with that final decision, everyone got up from their seats and proceeded out the door in an orderly fashion while Aizen's eyes were on them. As soon as they were out of his sight, they would begin to push and tug at each other.

"Jaegerjaquez, may I have a word with you?" he called after me before I left. Shoulda ran out faster.

I approached him reluctantly. "What is it?"

"I know you and Orihime have developed a strong friendship now and she might ask you why she didn't get invited or what we were talking about. May I ask you to say that it was just reminders for the _Espadas_ only?" he quietly said to me.

I frowned. "What for?" I saw no reason to its purpose.

"She might want to come with you in order to reunite with her friends. We don't want that do we?" he pointed out.

The more I thought about it, the more he was right. I wanted her to stay here... with _me._ This order would benefit Aizen and I. Might as well do as he says. "Right," I replied.

He gave me an encouraging nod. "You may leave for your mission tomorrow."

* * *

**A/N: **I figured if I included Ichigo, this would be much more interesting. Look forward to the next chapters!


	9. Orange haired Shinigami

**I Hate That I Love You - CH 9: Orange-haired Shinigami**

* * *

Orihime threw the doors open as soon as she realized who was at the other side. "Grimmjow-san!"

It was the middle of the night, and I came over once again. That fucking meeting took way too long and I didn't have time to visit her. Well, here I am now, breaking the rules and adding on to my reputation.

"Hey," I greeted, walking in and shutting the door behind me with a distinctive click. I guess she had no intentions of sleeping either—her bed sheets were untouched as they remained in an orderly state though it was probably past one in the morning. Shut-eye was at eleven for everyone.

Her arms wrapped around me at once. "I didn't see you today at all! I knew you would come, though!" It sounded like I was her prince with shining armour who was going to rescue her from Aizen's grasp.

But she knew me too well. "Of course. Ulquiorra isn't going to hold me back." I smirked.

Orihime's smile looked like it could stretch to her ears.

We went right to business...

I craned my neck down to receive the soft kisses of Orihime Inoue; she was on her toes, giving them to me. I carried her up until she sat on the dresser and now we reached each other. Her arms wrapped around my neck and my fingers tangled in her brilliant hair. Like a spark of flame, it immediately turned into a fierce kiss. We would enjoy ourselves until Ulquiorra could bust me. I bet my reiatsu was going crazy. It went from so small that I could hide it, to stretched and free. I loved how she made me do that.

Then a small flicker of Ulquiorra's reiatsu occurred, meaning he had a slip to masking it, which also meant he was coming and a very high probability that he was mad too. I withdrew from her and frowned at how fast he noticed. Maybe he was expecting this and he stayed up too.

"I can get you off the hook," Orihime said as she jumped off the dresser. Then she used the mirror to smoothen her tangled hair, and she straightened her clothes.

"'Kay, thanks."

"So what was your meeting about anyway?" she asked absently.

Remembering what Aizen told me earlier, I decided to go with his suggestion for an excuse. "Nothing much. Just reminders for us Espadas." Lying was natural to me. It rolled off my tongue like it was my native language that I was speaking my whole life. "Hey... I won't be here in Los Noches tomorrow."

Orihime pouted. "Why?"

"I have to look for an Arrancar Aizen wants to talk to. I'm supposed to drop him a message," I said nonchalantly. I was making everything up form the top of my head.

"Where are you going to find this Arrancar?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"Just through the deserts. It might be a long way to the guy's place, so don't try to look for me. I'll be back at the end of tomorrow or two days from now," I explained. It was amazing how much she believed everything I said. There was no hint of suspicion in her voice.

Orihime grabbed my left hand and held it between her own hands. I'd miss the warmth of her skin. "You promise me you'll be back? It's nothing dangerous, right?" She swallowed.

"Yeah, I promise. Don't worry 'bout me." I gave back a half-hearted smile. Footsteps tapped closer toward the door. "He's here," I said as my head whipped to the door.

The doors busted open and it revealed Ulquiorra on the other side. He marched in angrily. "Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez!" he bellowed.

"I'm here, I'm here," I said, already heading for the door.

His jaw locked. "What did I tell you be—"

Orihime cut him off. "Ulquiorra-sama, he was only telling me about the meeting and his mission!" she explained.

Then his face looked like it moved into a twist of shock for a moment. "What did he say?" he asked her.

"It was a reminder for Espadas only. Also, Grimmjow-san is supposed to send a message to an Arrancar tomorrow," she answered vigorously.

Ulquiorra's face loosened. "Of course." He thought I told Orihime everything, didn't he? As he turned his attention back to me, one cold glare told me everything.

"I'm going," I grumbled, and started for my room reluctantly. I was in no mood to hear his tirade.

"Wise choice." He nodded, closing the door as he followed me out.

"Goodnight, Grimmjow-san!" I heard her call after me. Is that the last thing I may ever hear from her?

* * *

I stared into the portal of darkness that would somehow bring me to the World of the Living to find Orihime's ex-lover. My lips pursed into a hard line. I didn't _want_ to go, I'm being forced to. Instead, I wanted to spend as much time as I could in Orihime's presence. Fucking Aizen couldn't pick someone else.

"Make a trail with reishi and keep walking forward," Aizen instructed. "Good luck." A little short for directions through an empty portal, don't you think?

I went along with it anyway. "Here goes another waste of time," I mumbled, leaving with trust that Ulquiorra will take care of Orihime for now.

I walked through the empty void with nothing to lead me but Aizen's unspecific instruction. I didn't even know if I was going forward. Is it possible that you could get lost here? It was like a black hole; meaningless and empty. The white road of reishi was the only thing that I seemed to find colour in. Everything was just pitch black.

A few hours passed as I kept moving toward nothing, until I saw a hole that perched upon the darkness. The hole had colour—blue background and white, soft-looking things that had some resemblance to cotton candy. I remembered that I saw the same thing outside my window at day time. Even though Aizen's version was artificial, it was surprisingly similar.

I reached for it...

Soon I was able to step in the hole with both feet and on mid-air as I compressed some more reishi under them. Then the hole behind me disappeared. I now stared down at this peculiar world. There were tall buildings and houses, plants that added greenery and strange rectangular-shaped contraptions that was made of coloured metal that moved on black, round items. It was cheery-looking, a place where Orihime blended into. I let myself fall and slowly landed in greenery. Grass, that's what it's called. It was this world's grey sand. The few people who passed didn't notice me. I was invincible to them of course. Now all I had to do was draw the bait with my own reiatsu.

I released it, unleashing what was bundled in me that I kept for battle use. Mine was a bit different from an ordinary Hollow. Kurosaki and the others would be coming to see what was causing all the strange reiatsu of course. Somewhere in the distance I felt a group of different reiatsus coming toward me: a Shinigami's, a Quincy's, a human's and... that was odd. The one coming at me the fastest was a Shinigami, yet there was a mixture of a Hollow's.

I knew at once that this reiatsu belonged to Kurosaki Ichigo.

"Ichigo, slow down!" a female voice complained.

"If you want us to work together in fighting this Hollow then slow down!" a male one added.

Another male gruffed in agreement.

"Just pick-up the pace guys. I don't have time to waste!" The last one was who I assumed to be _him._

Then at the corner of my eye, I saw a glimpse of orange. I turned my head casually to see the Shinigami-slash-Hollow in a usual black kimono Shinigamis were fond to. His hair was a bright orange and his Zampaktou was as long as his body. He now wielded it, curiosity and anger battling in his eyes.

I realized that my lips curled in one corner as I felt some excitement coming along. "Hey," I greeted.

"Cut the small talk! What the hell are you?" he asked, one hand twitching on his side.

Soon enough, the female Shinigami with dark hair, the human with a demented weapon wrapped around his arm and the bow-wielding Quincy arrived at his heels. They were all surprised, while Kurosaki was more... itching for action like I was.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Espada number six." I turned around to show the tattoo on the side of my arm for a brief moment. It displayed that I was in sixth ranking in the top ten Arrancars Aizen kept.

The Shinigami gasped with sudden realization. "Is that what Urahara-san was talking about? The Espadas working under Aizen?"

"You're absolutely right," I answered for Kurosaki.

"Then that means you have her!" Ichigo pointed his weapon at me, his tone, similar to a growl.

I decided to play dumb. "Have who?" I asked.

"Orihime Inoue!"

Looks like Kurosaki actually wanted to save her. I myself wondered why he didn't come to Heuco Mundo if he was as determined as he looked. It would have been entertaining in front of everyone if I was going to fight him there. It wouldn't matter anyway because he'd have to go through me to get the girl back for himself.

"Oh, that's the chick's name. Yeah, we have her. We're taking _real_ good care of your friend," I said in an aggravating tone.

I grinned when his reiatsu seemed to thicken in my words. "Bring her back!" he demanded like I would just hand her over.

"And if I don't?" I challenged.

The others looked at Ichigo with sharp gazes, knowing what he was going to say next. "I'm going to have to kill you then," he answered firmly.

* * *

**A/N:** I seriously need to update faster… With school tests piling along, and distractions, I can only devote about fifteen minutes of my time each day. I will try to squeeze in at lest forty minutes next time! I promise I will try!


	10. Mask

**I Hate That I Love You - CH 10: Mask**

* * *

The others looked at Ichigo with sharp gazes, knowing what he was going to say next. "I'm going to have to kill you then," he answered firmly.

"I'll take that chance." I shrugged.

Kurosaki's grip tightened around his Zampaktou in anger to seeing me think so lowly of him.

"I'll make a deal with you, Shinigami. If you win, I'll bring the girl back here. But if _I_ win, we keep her. Is that fair?" I said.

Ichigo nodded confidently. "Sounds fair enough."

"Hold on, Ichigo! We don't even know why he's here. How do you know he's going to keep that deal? He's under Aizen's command!" the short, dark-haired girl pointed out.

"I always keep my promises. You can say, it's punishment towards me for losing if I have to give the girl back to you. I'll deal with Aizen on my own," I explained. "All I can say now is, believe my word."

"Espada, you can't only be here to challenge us. What's the reason behind this?" the Quincy asked suspiciously, as if thinking this was some sort of trap I was setting up.

"I'm challenging _him_, not all of you," I corrected.

"Why are you here?" the tall, male human with the shaggy hair asked.

His friends were getting annoying by the second. How this, how that. What this, what that... They were in my way. I gave Kurosaki a look that told him just that.

"Guys, would you mind leaving? It's a one-on-one challenge," he told them as gentle as possible.

The others looked at him in surprise, choking on words to reply. They hesitated on the spot. They couldn't let him fight alone when they knew they could all help him out. That was what a team was for.

"Go! I'll have Orihime back in no time at all. Trust me on this."

The word "trust" seemed to do the trick. They nodded and soon left to direction in which they came from. Finally, it was only him and I. I forgot why I was here for a second. I got so caught up in planning to kill this asshole.

"Tell me something first. If you knew Aizen had the girl, why didn't you just come for her?" I questioned as soon as I no longer saw his friends' retrieving backs.

He seemed to get angrier when I asked that as he gritted his teeth. "Because she's considered a traitor now! We're not given permission to cross to Heuco Mundo by the orders of the Captain-Commander."

I smirked. All Shinigamis have to be _so_ loyal to one another, don't they? It was a load of crap how "trust" was everything to them. As if everything was explained in the five-letter word. Disgusting.

"Don't you dare give me that look on your face!" he shouted, already charging at me. Kurosaki's weapon shimmered in the sun light, looking menacing. He swung it at me. With a quick move, his blade was caught in my palm, completely immobile there. He gawked at me. Kurosaki was asking himself how I was able to stop his Zampaktou by the looks of it.

"Is that the best the guy who fought Shinigami level captains can do? Or is that all it takes to defeat one?" I laughed darkly, mocking him.

I could just leave if I wanted to. I got all the information necessary: They won't do anything since they're not allowed to save Orihime. There were no specific questions I was asked to do—just getting the knowledge of their current activities was needed. I got an answer for you: no where at all.

Kurosaki swung at me immediately after pulling his Zampaktou free. He moved more like a blind-folded child trying to get candy out of a piñata. I dodged every single one without doing more than manoeuvring on one foot. He got that same stupid look on his face when I purposely let the blade touch my skin and see no blood pouring out.

"How are you...?" he trailed off.

"How am I winning?" I finished for him. "Well, you suck. We'll put it that way."

Ichigo ignored that. "No. I mean," he shook his head, "how are you able to stop my blade from cutting you?"

I stepped back a few meters absently. "You're Zampaktou is dull. Its blade can't cut through Espada skin." I pointed to my chest. "It's like steel, you see."

Every now and then, he glanced at my Zampaktou, possibly wondering why I haven't pulled it out yet. If I used it now, the fun would end too soon. Kurosaki in the other hand was holding back some secret power or something and I felt that about him. Aimlessly slashing your weapon around wasn't all he knew, right? Maybe he was trying to read my moves. I decided to test that...

I charged at him—head-on—with an ominous Cero rolling on my palm. His face hardened as he used his weapon to block himself as he held it horizontally. Then I pushed my palm at him with great force. Kurosaki used his sword to divide my Cero and his chest. Then I picked up speed and made the effort to force the Cero to push against the blade. This caused him to skid on the grass, leaving trails of brown soil. I pressed on him harder, so quickly that it surprised him.

With no option left, he finally decided to do something. "Getsuga Tenshou," he roared.

A red aura surrounded the edge of the blade. It flicked like lighting. Before I knew it, I was the one sliding back on the earth. I watched the red arch of light chase me, already touching my arms—which I used to cover my face—and my unprotected chest and abdomen. I felt the pain that stung as it dug through my flesh. _Shit!_ I cursed. I was looking up at the sky now; then I realized it knocked me over. I was sure I smelled my flesh burning. With a quick jump, I got off the lawn to examine myself. A wide pink mark etched vertically across my arms, chest and abdomen. It felt like I was lit on fire there.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," I muttered and complacently grinned. I was right—he was holding back some power. But right now, he was going to pay for leaving this permanent scar on me.

I pointed a finger at him. "You're holding back, aren't you? Show me more of your abilities, Shinigami!"

"It won't. Be worth it," he said between pants.

"Are you underestimating me?" I demanded.

"What I mean is, you're not worth showing my full abilities. I might accidentally kill you anyways." He didn't sound like he as bluffing, he sounded like he was serious and confident about himself. But to my ears, he was trying to pull off stand-up comedy.

My ass he could finish me off. "I'll have to force you then," I stated. I knew that this was when the real battle started.

How long was this going to take? How many more hours have passed by? Though, it was thrilling to fight a Shinigami that held back great power. All my "forcing" had led him to using Bankai. Those red lightning attacks were five times bigger than their original size. I got cuts all over my body as his speed and strength increased. I was bleeding all over the place. He had burns in his body by my Cero, of course. I gave him a kick to the gut which caused two of his twiggy ribs to break. I wanted more action that was enough to cause me an adrenaline rush. This shit I was feeling now was nothing but a little excitement. I wanted to push him to the limit, and I knew exactly how to do that...

"Aren't you wondering what the girl has been doin' in Heuco Mundo since she came?" I asked between a punch to his face.

Kurosaki's neck snapped back and he landed on his stomach after he did a flip across the ground. "Wh-what?" he asked as he staggered on his feet.

"Being beaten into a plump."

This seemed to release more of his reiatsu. "What the hell did you just say?" he asked firmly through his teeth.

"All the chick does is chatter on about how badly she wants to be rescued." I gave him a sadistic smile.

His heart pulsed heavily, trying to break through his ribs. Kurosaki stared at me with deep animosity. Then he launched himself at me without thinking. Instead of dodging his swing at me, I grabbed hold of his Zampaktou again and threw it—along with him—through the air. Kurosaki landed on two feet after doing a sloppy cartwheel twice. I ran along the humid air like there were steps there and joined him above ground.

"Yeah, Shinigami! That's what I'm talking about! Those eyes! I hate those damn eyes! And that's why ya gotta die!" In lightning speed, I raced toward him with a dark laugh escaping my throat.

"Getsuga Tenshou!" he bellowed and sliced the space in front of him to form that same technique.

I faced my palm out to it and began to create a red Cero of my own, and continued to build it up until his Getsuga Tenshou made contact with it. It was his Zampaktou's very own power against my Cero. When the two energy forces touched, a great wave passed through us. It felt like my stomach lurched upward. Then I began to laugh wildly as my Cero won and blasted toward him; his eyes full of surprise. Kurosaki was pushed back to the ground like a meteorite. When he met the hard cement, there was a crater on the street made by the impact he brought. The other humans hurried away from the scene in haste of an invisible force, screaming.

I slowly drifted down toward him just to see that expression of disappointment drawn on his face. The concrete's particles created a mist-like sheet, covering him from meeting my gaze. Behind the cloud, his reiatsu busted through like a bomb thrown directly at me. I'll admit, I was appalled that he was keeping all that back. As the cloud of concrete particles cleared, there stood a new Kurosaki Ichigo...

On his face was a white Hollow's mask coloured in red patterns; his eyes were piercing gold. It was in the nick of time when I pulled out my Zampaktou, because his strength towards sinking his weapon into mine was great. I would have had been in two pieces. He slowly advanced on me as I struggled against this enormous strength.

"This is the secret power you have been dying to see. So, here you have it," he said in a peculiar voice.

I drew back to regain balance. The sense of adrenaline rush poured over me as I got enraptured by it. Then we clashed swords again in the form of an X.

"Sorry, Espada, but this is where you are finished," he said smugly.

After a nanosecond passed, he disappeared. _Shit! He's too fast..._

Then an over whelming pain branched out from my back. I began coughing out red blood; it smelled of salt and rust. I looked down to my chest to see the sight of Kurosaki Ichigo's blade through me.

* * *

**A/N:** I was able to use one of my favourite quotes from Grimmjow in this chapter! Yes, it was the _"Yeah, Shinigami! That's what I'm talking about! Those eyes! I hate those damn eyes! And that's why ya gotta die!"_ one.


	11. Trade

**I Hate That I Love You - CH 11: Trade**

* * *

Kurosaki pulled out his weapon from my back quickly, sending another shooting pain through my body. I fell on my back, just below where he stood. the whole world rocked and went against me. It was like every nerve in me just shut down by that single movement. I could feel the blood quickly escaping through the wound. I would be drained completely soon. I looked up at him as he wore a face with no emotion. Then I weakly chuckled; it hurt my lungs. "Look who's on the ground now," I said, spewing blood.

He looked at me with bemusement, as if asking _"Why are you still laughing? You're going to die."_

"I'm not," I answered his unspoken question. "Not yet." Then I grabbed the hilt of my Zampaktou that was lying beside me. Everything I did hurt every part of my body. It was painful to breathe, to move my mouth... it was painful to reach for my only chance of survival. Then I called out, "grind, Panthera." I guess he was pretty stoned from surprise when my wounds healed and I physically morphed into something else. In a matter of seconds, I was able to swiftly spring on my feet.

My appearance changed to something more feline and predatory; teeth, jagged and sharp; black claws descend on my fingers and feet; a whipping tail whooshed in the air; my hair, long and flowing and my ears become one like a Panther's. Then, my clothing changed to become a form-fitting white segmented armour, similar to my original Adjuchas-Hollow form. Finally, blades rising from my forearms and calves came. A sadistic grin spreads across my face to top everything off.

"How did you...? What the hell are you?" Kurosaki demanded, suddenly choosing to step back a bit. He eyed me because it looked like I was never injured.

"We completely heal when we enter our Resurrection form. It's not over yet, Shinigami, Hollow or whatever _you_ are." I snarled. "Now, let's get this show on the road."

Then I took a deep breathe and roared, sending out shock waves that threw him back fifty meters away from the amount of force put in it. I soared through the thin, musty air of Karakura Town after him and clashed arm-to-sword with him. I felt brand new at this state – like feeling victorious after winning first place after years and years of failing. I could spring around faster with these powerful legs. I glided around easier, whipping my slim tail at him. Soon enough, a dark and ominous purple cloud hung about this town as our battle was distorting the atmosphere. Hand-to-hand combat is what I was originally skilled at – that's why I never take out my Kanata. Destruction was my ideal word. Meanwhile, Kurosaki depended on his lousy hand-and-eye coordination.

He found an opening in me somehow and cut me across my chest, spilling red blood. In return, I spun around wildly with a leg pointing out, looking like a hurricane. When my foot slapped his face, half of his mask came off. I laughed in amusement. With another kick that landed on top of his head, Kurosaki swirled down toward the ground once again. The sound of many of those metal contraptions beeping filled the streets. I was destroying his town too – a town in which Orihime was never going to return to.

Quickly, he shot up like a bullet and we intersected each other. Both of us were dripping in blood and in sticky sweat. Each bruised and injured. Right now, we were in a tie game.

"You're trying hard, I see," I commented too casually for someone who was bleeding.

"Of course I am!" Kurosaki responded.

We withdrew from each other in a single jump back, gasping for air.

"What if she – doesn't want to go – back?" I asked between breaths.

"Why would Orihime want to stay in a place where she is always 'being beaten into a plump'?" he questioned.

I chuckled. He looked at me with a peculiar expression because he was missing on a very important fact: she sorta _does_ want to stay. I'm not very sure myself. Maybe that's why I never told her were my mission was. I was afraid of taking the chance of putting the idea of _coming __home_ in her head.

"What the hell is so funny?" he demanded.

"What's the point of telling you when you're about to die?" Then, we instantly came back into feuding over Orihime Inoue.

I clutched his black kimono at the collar in a fist and he watched in sudden shock as an Ultimate Cero formed. In a matter of seconds, I released it and he was pushed away through two tall buildings. Then the Getsuga Tenshou came at me next. I easily dodged it using Sonido. Then he was behind me in the next second.

"I'm not falling for that again!" I snarled, swiftly turning around and aiming to inject my hand through his heart. I could almost taste victory. This battle was coming into an end soon...

Then my hand stopped mid-strike. It took me a moment to register that he caught my hand. Those gold eyes bore into mine with negligence. Using his Zampaktou, he pushed me downward – with the blade to my arms – toward the ground and hard cement.

"I _will_ get Orihime back!" he repeated as we both cut through the air.

"Over my dead body," I bellowed.

Finally, my back went through a series of buildings that were constructed with glass. My spine was close to snapping at the amount of strength he used. When I finally landed on flat ground, something heavy and made of metal landed on top of me. To add to the dilemma, he used his Getsuga Tenshou at me and it burned my skin. It threw my back into a light pole. It landed horizontally on my abdomen. I felt like hell this time. Something told me that I was going to lose. Yet, I decline that because I refused to give Orihime back to this asshole. I had to get up and fight...

He made contact with his foot and my chest, pushing out all my oxygen in a huff. Kurosaki had a grin on his face. He pointed his Zampaktou at my throat as I looked up at him.

"I win, Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow. Time to hand Orihime over," he said.

"No..." It hurt to talk. "Quite the contrary." I pointed my elbows at him and shot my Five Darts, and he was totally unprepared.

Kurosaki was sent flying back as he received my secretive attack that could cut through a fifty-foot thick iron wall. That was one of my ultimate attacks – there's no way he could withstand that.

I still felt like crap even if I knew I won the battle. I should be laughing wildly and breaking things for the pleasure, right? Instead, I lay on the cold cement with a light pole on my abdomen. I threw the pole aside and staggered to my feet. My spine felt swollen and brittle, like a door hanging on one hinge. I didn't want to be stuck in this world paralyzed.

I limped over to where Kurosaki was, leaving a trail of shiny red blood behind me. He was on his back in a sidewalk, looking lifeless. The mask was slowly breaking apart until it was completely gone. I could see the exact points the darts entered his body, because there were splotches of blood on certain areas in his beaten-up state. His heart was still slowly beating, not quite dead yet but a few hours away to reach its cold hands. He couldn't get up and fight anymore. The Shinigami was done.

Then his eyes slowly opened to see my figure standing over him like a tall building. "I couldn't j-just have... That means... Orihime..." his eyes looked alarmed.

How badly I wanted to stomp on his ribs or poke a hole through his chest where his heart kept its chamber. Yet why was I not rubbing it in his face that I won? "Like the deal described, I get to keep the girl since I won," I croaked.

_"I?"_ it was barely above a whisper.

"I mean Aizen," I added quickly. "But hey, don't worry so much, Kurosaki – she'd in good hands. Trust me." I hated how gentle I was again.

"How do... do you know my n-name?" he asked.

"She tells me lots about you."

Then I heard fast-paced footsteps coming this way. "Ichigo! Ichigo!" his friends called on top of their lungs.

Kurosaki sighed. "I promised them I would get her back."

"I got a promise to keep too, Shinigami. Excuse me while I try to keep it," I said, raising a finger and poking the air. The portal opened to reveal the black void.

I made my way towards it and stepped in, making my first trail of reishi. My back gave me piercing stings of great pain with every step I took. My foot would sometimes slip off the edge as I desperately walked. Why did I hesitate to kill him once and for all? Why am I leaving him for his friends to heal his deep wounds? I got an answer that I found after a minute: because he was Orihime's friend.

* * *

**A/N:** There you have it! Grimmjow wins! I'm not very experienced on writing out battle scenes, so I hope it's not confusing. Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed.


	12. Mai Daaringu

**I Hate That I Love You - Chapter 12: Mai Daaringu**

* * *

Looking up at the tall gates of Los Noches sent a wave of relief through me. I was almost there, back to Orihime's presence as I now rightfully won her comfort and loving kisses. I was going to give out soon. I could feel it slowly approaching me. I was experiencing fatal injuries. I've lost too much blood and my organs were holed and crumpled. Hopefully, I'll make it in time...

The halls were quiet; all that was audible was the sound of my trickling blood slashing on the marble floors. I didn't plan to come to Aizen first. Screw him. I planned to go to Orihime and start telling her the truth about my real whereabouts. Her room seemed so far away as I carefully limped there, using the walls for support.

Then, an overwhelming pain from my back was sent through me as I gasped. In the next second, I was on my face and against the polished floor. I was paralysed and I couldn't move toward her any closer. Not even a last kiss before I completely disappeared from the face of the earth. A pool of blood was created around me in an instant. Then, I blacked out.

* * *

"Grimmjow, Grimmjow, Grimmjow..." Orihime said repetitively out the window, and to the dessert in a whisper. "When will you come back?"

"Inoue-chan?" Ulquiorra called for the fifth time for her attention.

She finally responded. "Hm?" She twisted around to meet his gaze.

"It is time for lunch. May I escort you to the cafeteria, or do you want me to bring you the tray here instead?" he told her.

She blinked twice. How long has she been waiting and gazing out the window? "Thank you, Ulquiorra-kun, but I'm fine. You may go ahead." Orihime waved a hand nervously at him for him to leave. "I'll skip it today so I can-"

"Wait for Grimmjow?" he completed for her in an aggravating tone. "He will be most likely back tomorrow. His mission might take a while. There is no point waiting around for his arrival. I thought he explained this to you already." _If he_ does _come back,_ he added mentally.

Orihime looked back out the window petulantly. "Please. Go on without me. I'm not planning to escape if that's what you're worried around," she said without having to stare at his lazy green orbs.

He sighed. The Espada could not physically force the girl to eat. Aizen will be most unpleased if he did. "Suit yourself." And with that, he stalked out of her room.

As time passed, she only felt more abandoned. _The promise... the one that he made. He should be keeping it,_ she thought. Finally, she decided to kill time by choosing to roam around the corridors for a while. Everyone was having lunch, there should be no one there willing to hurt her for now. Orihime took the halls that avoided Aizen's office and the cafeteria. She ignored the roars of her empty stomach and proceeded without looking back once. _Tap, tap, tap,_ her footsteps echoed off the walls. The auburn-haired girl couldn't quit thinking of the idea of Grimmjow never returning again. Suddenly, she felt a wave of forlorn wash over her. Then, her vision grew blurry and her lower lip quivered. It took Orihime a moment to realize that she was crying.

_Plop, plop, plop... _Something in the distance interrupted the silence. Curious to see what it was, she stopped at her heels and looked over her shoulder. The sound was like a faint dripping echo. _Water?_ she reasoned. As if Orihime was pulled to it, she decided to follow the noise. With each turn and curve toward it, it grew more audible. A scent that made her stomach twist and turn as it rummaged in her nostrils. She took one step back after realizing what it was: blood. It was undeniable; the salty and rusty smell was giving it away.

Her walks turned into jogs, her jogs turned into runs. Orihime had to help the injured Arrancar. Even if they told her to go away. Then a sound of something heavy dropping on the floor followed after the final drip. Orihime abruptly skidded to a stop and fell back on the cold floor in the sight before her after rounding a corner.

"Grimmjow-san!" she whispered loudly. The Espada that she was waiting desperately for was... _Dead?_ She quickly shook the thought out of her head. She quickly crawled with haste toward his fallen figure, despite the red fluid that pooled around him. "Grimmjow-san?" she shook him. Stillness followed. "Grimmjow-san!" she tried again in desperation. Orihime didn't have her hairpins with her, how could she save him before he was permanently this way. It was said that she could only heal those who still had a little cling to life. It she took too long...

"Help! Help! Can anymore hear me! Please, I need help!" she cried at the tops of her lungs. She knew well that she alone couldn't carry him to Aizen to ask for the pins, and if she went now to him and asked for it, surely Aizen wouldn't believe her – Grimmjow's reiatsu wasn't even lingering in the atmosphere anymore. "HELP!" her throat soon became sore.

Orihime propped Grimmjow to lay in her lap soundlessly. His face was twisted into an expression on permanent pain and suffering. Where ever she laid her hand, there was blood on her palms and fingers. Not even a twitch or a jerking movement indicated if he was still alive.

"HEL-!" A hand quickly covered her mouth before she could finish. Fear suddenly ran through her. The girl turned pale because she knew she couldn't defend herself. Who would protect her now?

"Be quiet, Inoue-chan," the person said. "You'll attract a crowd." The voice had a familiar monotone to it.

Orihime twisted around to see Ulquiorra rather than someone who would try to kill her for making noise during lunch. "Ulquiorra-kun! Gri-Grimmjow-san is –"

"Yes, I can see that," he interrupted before she finished. "I'll do what I can. Hurry and try to let him stand."

She nodded vigorously. "All r-right," she couldn't keep her voice from shaking uncontrollably.

The two carried Grimmjow's unconscious body to Orihime's room in a rush and laid him in the bed. She didn't care if his blood was staining her sheets. "Please! Hurry and get my hairpins!"

In a whirl of black and white, Ulquiorra disappeared through the door. _I'll have to thank him later,_ she thought. As she gently settled down his head on the pillow, her eyes were drawn to a pink scar on his chest and arms. _That mark…_

* * *

_Badum, badum, badum... _

There was that favourite sound of mine, fused with my least favourite one – Orihime was silently sobbing. I felt a strong sense of déjà vu. I've almost died twice now, and Orihime was always there to keep me alive. Each time, I had to hear her cry. I was placed in something soft this time, unlike last time's hard and cold floor, not to mention the presence of Ulquiorra. It felt like I hadn't seen her at all when I opened my eyes to gaze at her face that glittered with tears. I stared at her like it was my first time to lay eyes on Orihime Inoue. Yet that sense of guilt remained fresh.

Orihime stared at my chest where a scar of Kurosaki's Getsuga Tenshou stayed engraved. That look in her grey eyes suggested that she knew where I have been. In result, she didn't meet my eyes.

"Orihime..." I trailed off, hesitantly. "Feel free to call me a liar any time now." I knew she wanted to.

She shook her head with pursed lips. "That scar, those patterns of Zampaktou cuts... I know the one person that could have done that," Orihime whispered.

It felt odd to talk while I remained in her bed, so I made the effort to sit up. I heard a few joints pop. How long was I unconscious? "Hey, get me out of this thing first." I referred to the gold sheet that encircled me.

Her hands fell to her side without a fight and the hairpin-fairies returned to complete a blue flower design that clipped her hair neatly. Orihime didn't move from the chair she sat in, instead she looked at the wall like she saw right through me. I was aware that I wasn't fully recovered, because my body felt like a giant bruise. I threw my legs off the bed and faced Orihime.

She still refused to look at me. Then, she said, "I don't know what I'd do if Kurosaki-kun ended up killing you."

"I didn't kill him. Your other friends probably fixed him up before I could. I _spared_ him, Orihime," I explained, feeling trapped in a corner.

She got up and wondered aimlessly around the room, absorbing what I'd told her. Maybe I was right about her still feeling something for the Substitute Shinigami. Eventually, I got up to take her wrists. "Why are you still crying? He's alive, I said."

Finally, Orihime turned to meet my gaze, her mouth hanging open. "Is that what all this is about? Jealously?"

"Aizen told me to-"

She cut me off, suddenly bursting into tears again. "You don't know me very well, do you? Haven't I explained everything to you before? Do I need to repeat it because you're _deaf?_ I should-!"

Before she could continue with her tirade, I pulled her toward my chest and stole her words away with a kiss. Like before, it would start with careful and gentle ones, but it would grow into fierce and passionate ones. Instantly, she fell mutinous to it. I felt like I needed it after a long battle, though I half expected her to pull away and complain about her personal space. She did the exact opposite of that. Her hands grabbed my collar into fists and she pulled me closer as if telling me to never let go. We separated for only a moment so that I could carry her to the couch. Then she crawled until she was on top of me until her stomach was against mine as I leaned back toward the arm rest. Even if my still-bruised body felt the tingle of pain, I ignored it. Everything else didn't exist but Orihime for a while.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Grimmjow-san," she said when we separated from each other after a long minute.

"Quit it with the 'san' bull shit. Just call me plain Grimmjow." I finally mentioned it to her. The timing felt right.

"How about mai daaringu?" Orihime questioned.

I considered it for a moment. "That's fine too." It was stupid, but it was fine. I absently pushed the hair away from her angelic face.

"Do you remember what I said to you before?"

"You've told me a lot of things." I smirked.

"Well, try to remember this one. It was when I came in your room and explained to you why you shouldn't stay away anymore; the same night when you decided to keep that promise." Orihime's fingers traced around my mouth while she talked.

I backtracked and got hit with realization like a falling piano landing on my head. "You said that… Kurosaki is only part of your past now. He's just a friend. And-"

"You're the only one who has a place in my heart. No one else," she completed for me.

Those were the words that made me feel like I was king of the world – the same ones that drew me closer to her. "I knew that."

"Well, you should remember it next time then." Then she rested her head under my chin until I could feel her heartbeat against my skin. Her warm breathe tickled. We stayed like that for a moment until we could absorb that we were together once again.

"Who brought me here?" I asked. "I remember falling on the floor and nothing else." I almost forgot about earlier.

"Ulquiorra," she said. "He brought you in here and asked Aizen for the hairpins." I felt her smile. "I'm thankful," Orihime whispered.

Did I hear it wrong? "Who?"

"Ulquiorra," she repeated.

"Oh. Well..." I couldn't finish. "Where is he?" I asked instead.

"He told me to call him in after I was done healing you," Orihime explained. "So what was you're mission really about? Were you suppose to... kill Kurosaki-kun?"

I played with a lock of her hair as I answered. "Actually, I was just suppose to find out about how their advancing on the plot to rescue you and to kill Aizen."

Orihime frowned. "What did you find out?" she asked numbly.

"They're not coming because they had to go by the rules: Kurosaki or anyone can't come by orders," I told her.

"Oh well," I felt her shrug her thin shoulders.

I chuckled softly. "You don't want to be rescued?"

"Not if it means being taken away from _you_." She seemed appalled with the thought if otherwise happened.

"What if they came anyway?" I challenged.

"I'll tell them that I belong here with mai daaringu," she answered with confidence while she got to her elbows and looked down at me.

I remembered days ago when I said that if Aizen was done with her, she was going to be thrown away like garbage. _I'm not going to let that happen,_ I thought. Then I brushed my lips on her collar bone and left kisses like fire. Next, I moved up her neck, and then her jaw line until I found my way to her lips.

"You know that I love you, right?" I asked her while she giggled at how I tickled her.

"Yes, I do. With my whole heart I believe that."

Then I thought of our first kiss and how I explained that I hated loving her. That seemed way back then. "Remember how I said I hate that I love you?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I don't think I _hate_ it anymore," I said as my lips curled into a smug grin.

* * *

A/N: Yatta! I'm done my GrimmXHime fanfic! I felt kinda sad when I typed that final period. So send me a review and tell me what you thought of!

**! I TAKE REQUESTS ! What else should I do after this story's done?**


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